Rachel Uchitel Would Like To Be More Famous, Naked

Rachel Uchitel
Buzz, Sex

Tiger Woods' army of skanks marches on to pages of Playboy and feuds amongst itself.

Rachel Uchitel, the most famous of the scores of women Tiger Woods cheated on his wife with, has agreed to take it all off for Playboy, TMZ reports. Jumping on the bandwagon (funny story, we hear that's what Tiger used to call getting busy), another of Tiger's side pieces, porn actress Joslyn James, is blabbering that Rachel is a bit of a round-heeled woman, if you know what she means. And all of this is sending the little girls of America the delightful message that being a classless trollop with no discernible skills except the cleverness to get someone else to pay for your breast implants is a viable career path!

Hugh Hefner's sexagenarian skin mag has, like most of print publishing, hit rough times lately, so Playboy has grubbed for newsstand sales by putting a series of increasingly less famous and more notorious women willing to show off their labia on its cover. It's not a new tactic—Who Wants To Marry a Millionaire? winner Darva Conger took it off back in 2000, and last year the magazine featured the "women of Wall Street" as well as Heidi Montag, Hefner's three E! show ladyfriends, and porn star Sasha Grey. And just this month the hooker who brought down New York governor Eliot Spitzer, Ashley Dupre, flaunted her goodies in the magazine's pages. So Rachel Uchitel is in...well, we would't call it good company. But it's company. Top 7 Notorious Playboy Spreads

She's most definitely not in good company when it comes to six degrees of Tiger Woods. Or even one degree. Joslyn James talked to Radar about some nasty things Rachel said about the other Tiger mistresses, saying, "Rachel's job seems to be to f**k other people's husbands. Yes, I was involved with Tiger also. I have learned from my mistakes, and it won't happen again. I'm not trying to break up anyone's marriage or family as Rachel seems to be." Tiger Woods' Mistresses To Compete In Pageant

Joslyn is referring to Rachel's recent bragging about her affair with Bones actor David Boreanaz, which has the show's fans enraged, because if he's going to sleep with someone other than his wife, they'd really prefer it was Emily Deschanel. Proving that all of celebrity-land is just a giant charlie foxtrot, Boreanaz's scorned wife, Jaime Bergman, posed for Playboy in 1999. Yep! And this all may get more litigious if Jaime exercises her right to sue Rachel for alienation of affection, which she can do since she lives in Utah. Rachel Uchitel Says She Dumped David Boreanaz

So, yeah. That's all happening. Is it just us or is there something deeply unpleasant about Rachel Uchitel and her apparent determination to become famous on her back? She's like Heidi Montag, only Heidi likes nose jobs and attention and Rachel likes, um, married guys.

Via Radar Online and TMZ. Photo via Bauer-Griffin.