The Best Of The Web: Birthdays & One-Night Stands

tom miller
Sex, Self

Plus kissing frogs, Ashley Madison and strange fetishes.

Well, well, well. In addition to being a fine Friday, it's also my birthday. With that in mind, here's a birthday version of the best links of the week.

Our home-slices at Glo have a little news about the greatest dating invention of all time: the pill. Much like me, it's celebrating a birthday, unlike me, it may actually decrease ladies' libidos. Hi-ooo?

One thing that people sometimes forget is that the pill is pretty weak when it comes to preventing STDs, that's why someone had the "great" idea of sending crabs through the mail… find out more from Lemondrop. If you're thinking of a birthday gift for me, please no Anthrax and no crabs.

Down at the Huffington Post, Heide Banks misspells her name talks about kissing frogs and finding princes. Clear eyes, full heart, can't lose... for your birthday.

Having a mid-May birthday, it sometimes lands on Mother's Day, speaking of landing on mothers, MomLogic talks about the 31 some-odd thousand women who signed up for Ashley Madison the day after Mother's Day. Read: Mother's Day Is For… Cheaters?

My buds, Em & Lo, have their man panel discuss the difference between making love and having sex. Unfortunately, they do not pull birthday sex into the conversation. As the back-end of a two-fer from Em & Lo, they talk about why men don't like dancing.

Periodically, a birthday party goes sideways into embarrassing story mode. CafeMom has a doozy of a funny story involving a repeating bird…

My homey Simone Grant has a nice reflection on what one-night stands have taught her. Good lessons. I'm not sure that a one-nighter is an appropriate birthday gift… it's certainly not a great Mother's Day gift.

But some people do have mother fetishes. COEDMagazine bangs out the top 10 strangest fetishes on the planet Earth. Engaging in some of this weird-a$$ sh*t, would probably count as a pretty nice birthday present. Kudos for getting that pic of Dawson crying.

The crew at has a great rationale between about guy hot versus girl hot. Dudes, evidently, find stripper-looking broads attractive and ladies, somehow, think Lady GaGa is sexy. Well, Mars… Venus… it's my birthday. Read: Girl Vs. Guy Hot: Whom Do You Dress For?

Not that I'm in this situation, but the crew at Gawker has an idea for a berry, berry bad birthday gift: a tell-all divorce blog. Somewhere, someone is blowing out the candles and hoping the whole internet crashes…

Finally, the ladies at The Frisky have inadvertently done me a wonderful birthday service: Confirmed that any lady who changes her hair regularly is banana-cakes crazy. There's a French saying about a woman making a drastic hair change that I can't quite recall… a virtual high-five to anyone who can throw it in there. Read: Beauty Rituals: U.S. vs. France

If you've any links, holler. Feel free to follow on Twitter @TomfooleryTM. Birthday wishes are welcome as long as their well wishes.