There is a guy..


So there is this guy that I'm crazy about.  I met him last year.  We went on a road trip together, and really got to know one another.  He really wanted to date me, but I was leaving.  At the time I was living in Reno, NV, I was heading to VA, then off to TX to start a new job.  This guy is 29 and has never had a girlfriend.  He's been through a lot in his life, medical issues and personal issues.  When I was in Reno we had sex a few times.  At the time I wasn't really that into him.  Well I can't say that, I thought he was a great guy, I just thought he would be fun to have a fling with.  I really didn't think I would develop feelings for him.  Since then I've seen him once, and we had amazing sex.  It's not just the sex though.  We have a lot of chemistry.  He really is a great guy.  I talk to him all the time.  As I get to know him more I fall for him more and more.
He just started a truck driving job and is driving all over the country.  He said that he's going to be real lonely doing this job.  Which I can totally understand.  I've told him that he can call me whenever he needs someone to talk to.  I know he will call, I seem to be one of the only people that truly cares about him.  I really want this man to be my boyfriend.  The problem is when I've said things to him about how I feel, he tells me not to talk about it.  He said that he likes me a lot, but talking about it is a no fly zone over his heart.  He says this because he's been hurt a lot throughout his life.  I can totally understand and respect this, but he has to realize that just because I don't talk about how I feel, doesn't mean the feelings are no longer there.  Right now I'm going to be his friend, keep him company during this transition in his life.  I hope that being his friend through all of this will win me "brownie points."  It's hard for me though.  I don't want to get hurt by this man, however I'm putting myself out there.  I want him to know that I'm a good person and I have a big heart.  I also want him to know that I care about him, and that I'm crazy about him.  Even though he knows how I feel he keeps asking me if I have a boyfriend or if I've found a boy toy.  Not sure if he's just testing me or what.  See the thing is I don't really want a relationship with anyone else.  When I met this guy I didn't want a relationship, however since I've gotten to know him, I want him.