Saying You Don't Want Sex In Order To Get Sex

Heartbreak, Self

We’re all really f*cked up about sex. Women are worse about it than men.

Sorry, females, it’s true. Women lie to themselves about it and in doing so force men to lie about it. And all this lying just f*cks us all up more.

It’s not women’s fault as much as it is societal mores that cause all this. There is far more pressure when it comes to sex on women than there is one men. Not even close. But still, it is the women who are worse than men, regardless of the reason.

Women aren’t “supposed to” want sex. Sex is bad and evil. This is what their fathers tell them, this is what their religious leaders tell them, this is what pop culture tells them from the moment they’re born. But women do want sex.

So a problem arises.

In order to get sex from a lady, a man has to convince said lady that he doesn’t want sex.

And it’s not about trying to trick the lady or any such thing. Because this remains the status quo even when the lady wants the sex.

I’m not talking about marital infidelity or any type of cheating. I’m talking about two consensual adults either just meeting or already in a relationship.

If a guy approaches a girl at a bar or a club he’s going up to her because he finds her attractive and hopes to have sex with her (other than those doing so just for friendly conversation). If a girl flirts back with him, generally she wants to have sex with him. But neither says this. He’s putting all his energy into looking as if he doesn’t want sex and because the ball is completely in the female’s court and he won’t get sex unless he seems like he doesn’t want it.

Hey, it’s fine if you legitimately just want to get to know someone better before jumping into bed with them. That makes sense. But how much better are you getting to know someone when you’re grinding on them? How can you get to know someone better if you can’t even hear them? How much better can you know them as you slurp down more and more alcohol?

In a relationship, a young one anyway, things are even worse. A booty call can never be a booty call. It’s always “Oh, I just thought we could watch a movie together.”

Calling and asking for sex seems crude and disrespectful, but it’s not. It’s honest and just because it’s sex doesn’t mean it’s not loving.

And after the affair the male has to do everything he can to convince the female that this wasn’t about sex. God forbid we should be honest about our natural desires.

Desire for your partner should be viewed as appropriate and loving.

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