Online dating and being realistic.

Online dating and being realistic.

The other day I did a blog on setting your sights higher than the basics. In other words, ask for more than just honesty and decency from your potential online love interests. Today, my blog is on having realistic expectations when onine dating. For some that means setting your sights lower.  Here’s what I mean:


I was a guest on a call-in radio show not long ago. One caller complained that he only attracted women who were overweight. He was pretty frustrated by how many “pounders” (as he delicately put it) were out there on dating sites. This made me curious about his weight so I asked him, “are you overweight?” He said yes. At which point I suggested that if he wants to attract slim, fit women, he should probably be slim and fit himself. 


I know a guy from high school who’s a short, fat, middle-aged man addicted to chewing tobacco. The last time I saw him, he ordered yet another of several drinks and said, “one more for the ditch”. 


Needless to say, this is an unattractive man, inside and out. Yet, he has no interest in women his age. He has no interest in women who are out of shape. And, he has no interest in women who are average looking. He wants a slim, hot, young female. But why in the world would a slim, hot female want him? More importantly, slim, hot, young guys are looking for those women too and they’re the ones most likely to get them.


I bring up examples of men but trust me; I’ve heard similar expectations in women. 


Some men and women really need to take a critical look at themselves. It’s all very well to have your wish list when going online and seeking potential love interests, but you need to be realistic about what you have to offer them in return.


I’m compelled to say that beauty is only skin deep. Still, I’m not naïve. We’re all attracted to looks, at least to some degree. But if you’re online dating and seeking model good looks in a man or a woman, you really have to ask yourself what they’d see in you.


For more advice and tips, listen to the podcasts, and read the blogs and samples at