Confessions of online daters.

Confessions of online daters.
Buzz, Love

I saw a
profile that proudly, and in caps, exclaimed, “SLIM NOW”.  Congratulations on achieving your goal
but divulging that on a site full of strangers is as risky as saying “hair plug
surgery went well” or “completed my 12 steps”.


struggles don’t belong on a public site. The people you’re addressing are
strangers. They don’t know you and don’t care about you.


 More importantly, you need to go online
fully confident and proud of yourself - without apology. Being proud means
saying “slim” versus “slim now”, as though there was something wrong with you
previously. Doesn’t “slim” sound more positive?


Think of
your dating profile as an ad. Have you ever heard a car company say, “Our
brakes are working now so it’s a good time to buy”?  Or “Our beef is no longer tainted so come on in and take out
a burger”? 


reason why smart advertisers don’t point out past flaws is because it’s not a
smart approach. The most successful way to attract a match is by going online
and putting your best foot forward.


when you add a qualifier like “now” not only do you sound apologetic for what
you were, it also implies there’s an end date. It’s almost like saying, “slim
now” but I might be overweight later. Do you know how many dinner dates you
could be discouraging with that one little “now”?


On the
subject of weight, here’s another tip: don’t post before and after photos. When
a stranger – that is, someone who doesn’t yet care about you – sees before and
after pictures, chances are they aren’t going to send you a message saying
“congratulations”. Instead, they’ll wonder if your struggle with weight means
that the person they find attractive today, may not be the person they’ll be
attracted to later.


All this
may sound shallow but don’t be naïve. Success in online dating depends on
initial attraction. That means you photos and your profile have to really
promote your benefits and charm. Only after you become friends and develop
substance does physical attraction begin to broaden into a physical and
heartfelt attraction. So, until then, stay in the present and keep a positive
spin on who you are  – whether
you’re overweight or not.  Weight,
hair loss and many of the physical concerns we all tend to have are not
personality flaws. You need not apologize for them - ever.


For more
tips and advice, check out the blogs and podcasts at