Why Women Should Look Forward To Aging

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Self

Don't believe what you read in magazines and Web sites for women. Well, except for this one. When it's me.

Publications for women love to make you feel sh**ty about yourself, particularly when it comes to aging—as if it were a choice, and women who choose to let nature take its course are sad, harelipped bog creatures who are too busy listening to the wind whistle through their empty wombs to properly moisturize. Lemondrop: 'Cougar Town' (And The Term 'Cougar') Should Be Shot And Stuffed

Actresses who were once young and vibrant and adorable undergo grotesque surgeries to defy the natural process of senescence and end up with strange facsimiles of their former faces. (Meg Ryan's mouth and Lara Flynn Boyle's mouth should go bowling at an alley that allows weird-looking mouths to bowl at discount prices.)

Well, I'm sort of sick of it. Yes, 20-something women can be vital and gorgeous, many of them with bodies at the nubile peak that our culture covets so much. It's not just the gorgeous groundstrokes that keep men watching women's tennis. And don't get me started on the grunting volley. But older women? They rule. For a ton of reasons. And they're sexy as all get out.

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Written by [Redacted] Guy for Lemondrop.