Lindsay Lohan: Lawsuits And Loneliness?

Lindsay Lohan suing etrade babies
Buzz, Self

Are Lindsay Lohan's sensitivity and irrationality keeping her alone?

Lindsay Lohan is suing the brokerage company E*Trade over one of their omnipresent and obnoxious talking baby ads, in which a bediapered lothario blows off his baby girlfriend in favor of "that milkaholic, Lindsay." This comes on the heels of Ungaro dropping her as a contributing designer, plus Lindsay was unable to generate buzz for herself even though she was the only famous person at Paris Fashion Week that most English-speaking celeb-watchers would recognize (everyone else was at the Oscars—remember when Lindsay was an actress?). Is Lindsay's erratic behavior and itchy lawsuit trigger finger ruining both her career and her private life?

First, a word about the lawsuit, because we took one law class in grad school and intend to use it. Lindsay is claiming that the words "that milkaholic, Lindsay" defame her because she has single-name recognition, like Cher or Madonna. Which is untrue; she's not even the most famous American woman named Lindsa(e)y this year. Second, and more absurdly, there are very few babies that can't be described as "milkaholics." Our friend's eleven-month-old son throws it back so vigorously he'd be in Betty Ford if it was actually a problem. And third, Lindsay is a pretty popular name, especially among women Lohan's age—the Social Security ranked "Lindsey" 39th and "Lindsay" 46th in popularity for babies born in 1986. So we're having a hard time seeing how any of this is defamatory; rather, the E*Trade people probably didn't even think of Lindsay Lohan when they made the ad and Lindsay's overreaction is just giving her a reputation as a crazy person. What Is Going On With Lindsay Lohan?

And now about how all this mishegoss is affecting her. Lindsay hasn't really dated anyone since her relationship with Samantha Ronson ended in a hail of flung cocktail glasses last spring. She's said as recently as last month that she still loves Sam and wants to get back together, but, frankly, Lindsay is such a disaster right now we can't imagine why anyone would get involved with her for the right reasons. (Although there is a certain danger of an Adnan Ghalib situation, just saying.) She is FEUDING with TALKING BABIES, for heaven's sake. Lindsay Lohan's Looney Love Life

We're not quite sure how much of this we can still blame on Lindsay's parents. Michael and Dina Lohan are, remember, horrible people who exploited their daughter and pretty much stood by while she got addicted to alcohol, cocaine, and pills, or, worse, partied with her (Dina) and tried to sell tapes of her having emotional breakdowns on the phone to tabloids (Michael). They are wretched human beings. But Lindsay is almost 24 years old, she's independently wealthy (um, maybe), and has been to rehab several times. When is it time for Lindsay to take responsibility for her life, even if her parents got her off to a rotten start, and try living like a normal person?

Via USA Today and New York magazine. Photo via Bauer-Griffin.