Making someone be the most important person in your life is like crossing a rail way blind folded and hear nothing but your heartbeat getting faster and faster. You’re lucky enough if you crossed without dying or just having a little scratch on your skin and sometimes unlucky that somehow you’ve crossed it, but you nearly die. Believing that someday you will be the most important person in his/her life is what makes you feel blue and incomplete. Yeah, it hurts so much. Being in a stage that you never know what will happen next is very braincracking. You’ve fallen, you depend to him/her for your happiness, but, does he/she depends on you too? You know and you can’t hide it. You’ve enter a stage where things are sometimes impossible. A battle, that you’re not 100% sure to win. And a path, that is full of traps and wild beasts. You’ve chosen a life where you can lose and can make you cry because there’s nothing you can do but to accept everything even if it’s unfair.
I was just a freshman when i decided to enter the teens world. Where loving is not a game and where crying is not because of falling down your knees while running. It’s not easy to fall inlove and it will never be easy to heal someone’s broken heart. I know i was young that time, and i regret that i’ve fallen to people who really doesn’t deserve to be loved. to tell you frankly, I’ve been serious in a relationship when im in my junior year. i got hurt, I’ve cried a lot, don’t eat, doesn’t sleep and the worst, still hoping to see him again and beg for him to come back. that was the very first time that i act that way for a guy.
By the way, he’s name is Norman Arpon. A guy who will never be mine again. i dont know why i got so addicted to him. (maybe, because he’s handsome or because he have a nice voice). my relatioship with him only took for a month and i really enjoyed each and every single second with him. Actually, i’ve met him in YAHOO, It was October 8, 2007. The moment i saw him, OMG! He looks like Champ of Hale. i was being silly that day and i ask him if it’s ok for him to be my boyfriend. then he said YES. And luckly i got his number. I message him that very day and talk to him on the phone. We meet each other, and it was the greatest moment i ever had with him. He sang some songs for me and me too for him. We go out eveytime we have time. we even celebrated his birthday together (NOVEMBER 5, 2007 “my first kiss”) and there’s no sad moments. We never even fight. (cool right?)
But that, so called PERFECT RELATIONSHIP with him ends up with reasons that is hard to accept. He called in my cousin’s house. His voice, something is up to. the way he talks, something’s wrong. Curiosity, i ask him what’s wrong? he didn’t want to tell, but i insists. then that goes the whole story! he wanted to be free. he wanted to go alone with his life without me. He even ask me if it’s ok that i was in the last place of his priorities. he told me that his priorities are his family, school, friend, his band, and all the people around him. that time was very frustating. but i answered “yes it’s ok” but that yes, doesn’t do anything, it never change the whole damn thing. he left, i let go of him. then he never call and text me again. he even changed his number.
and thats the end of it.
maybe if i didnt get curious bout the way he act that night, maybe i can still hold his hands, hug him, kiss him. But somehow im thankful that ive made a decision that gives me the strenght that i will be needing for my future heartbreaks.. ^^