Is Tila Tequila The Worst Girlfriend Ever?

Self, Family

Toxic Tila's worst moments.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Tila Tequila is gross. But until now we haven't had the technology to quantify her grossness; sure, you can talk all you want about viral loads, lip gloss applied with a trowel, and narcissistic Twitter updates taken far beyond their logical conclusions, but today we're attempting to define just what makes Tila so unrepentantly awful. Let's take a stroll down Icky Memory Lane, yes?

A Shot at Love

There's nothing wrong with a bisexual dating show, per se. We're all for people finding love, but when it comes in the form of one of MTV's more repugnant offerings, well, that's when we need to bleach our eyeballs. Tila's show featured 16 men and 16 women competing for her affections in a series of increasingly stupid challenges. Compared to the insanity that is Tila's world today, the first season of A Shot at Love back in 2007 seems positively quaint, but it did get that weird Italian guy his own show. At the end of the season, Tila chose a fellow named Bobby, then never called him again. We think Bobby got the better end of the deal.

Another Shot at Love

The season ended with Tila bawling in a heap because her chosen "Shot," Kristy, decided she didn't want anything to do with Tila. Great idea, Kristy.

Claims She Made Gay Marriage Legal

Yes, Tila said that. When California began allowing gay couples to marry in 2008, Tila told Us Weekly, "It is because of me I definitely think [my show] has helped the movement. Before it came out, everyone was still a little apprehensive about [same sex relationships]. Then they realized, 'Wow, everyone is really into this stuff, and it is fine.' The next thing you know, [gay marriage] is legal." Well, gay marriage isn't legal in California anymore, and Tila still can't form an intelligible sentence. Gay Marriage Would Increase CA Spending