Smart Talk: Open Marriage

Smart Talk: Open Marriage

The very idea of an open marriage, is radically different from the monogamous model of marriage our society values so much. So it is no surprise that Jenny Block's article "Portrait of an Open Marriage" got a lot of you talking. Here is just a sample of the great discussion.

Not only are humans different from animals, but the mammalian example of polygamy is an awful one. One male excludes the others from having access to sex. He fights them off. The females aren't allowed a choice. When the dominant gets old, the others guys move in and kill him and take over his females. Often they kill any babies the females have. Luckily our closest primate relatives are not polygamous, just promiscuous. Polygamy is typically a very oppressive, undemocratic institution. No matter what you think of the evils of monogamy, it's usually worse. With polygamy, women don't have sexual freedom. The oldest, most powerful men end up having to go for younger and younger women so that they can have more wives. Meanwhile some guys end up without wives. Polygamy in human history has just been about powerful men monopolizing a bunch of women.

I am in a open relationship...Most of our family knows, although our children do not, as they are two young to be involved with our sex life. I think they should just be allowed to go to elementary school for the moment, and not have to deal with grown up issues. When they are older, we'll discuss it with them, just as we discuss everything else. What my children see is what everyone else sees, a happy, loving, affectionate, supportive couple. I've had many people ask what our secret is to being so happy together and I'm honest with them: It's the open honest communication, trust, respect and genuine affection we have for one another. I could not imagine my life without my husband, he is my rock, my heart, and my joy, and also the sexiest man I have ever known. I totally agree with Jenny when she said that seeing her husband with someone else let her see her him in a new light. I want him more than ever, and I love him more every day.

hope you enjoy your celebrity and that it is worth the price your daughter may have to pay because of it. You actions have stripped the protective cloak of anonymity from your her and you are deluding yourself if you think she is or will remain ignorant of your lifestyle in the age of the Internet. Either through her own efforts or those of her friends or enemies she will be exposed to who and what you are. Most children/teenagers absolutely do not want to deal with their parents sexuality. Your daughter is going to have it shoved down her throat. In your decision to go public, you obviously forgot just how vile, cruel, and vicious teenage girls are and can be or how crude and loutish teenage boys are and can be. As the father of a teenage daughter and someone who teaches in a middle school, I tell you to prepare for the living hell that your daughter may have to deal with. Rightly or wrongly, people will make assumptions about your daughter based on your behavior and will act upon them. There are people who will protray you as being promiscuous and will assume that your daughter must be as well resulting in your her having to deal with (probably) unwanted sexual advances.

I believe somewhere deep down, you don't believe this is such a great and healthy thing, if it's something you hide from your child. My parents never hid sex or sexuality from me. A friend of mine whose mother was gay never hid the fact she was gay. But yet, you refer to it as "debauched behavior", and write an article about how great it is? That makes very little sense to me.
Another comment was talking about following the mammalian example of polygamy. The issue here is that sex between humans is not slightly comparable to that between other animals. That is an ill-composed thought process to make it seem like this should be no big deal. But humans have an entire range of hormones and thoughts not found in mammals that make situations far more complicated than "insert genitalia here". If it works for others, great. But I don't share this viewpoint, and don't need extramarital sex to make my marriage seem happy or to enjoy the sex that comes with it.

I feel it's the institution of marriage that causes the problem for people that aren't cut out for a monogomous relationship. I know so many couples that whine to me about their partners infedility. And they do not want an open marriage or a threesome. These people who have those partners should leave them immediatly because you can't expect another person to change. You can only change yourself. You just have to realise that people get hurt becaue they have emotions. They can't help it.
I just can't see oen marriages working out unless both partners make that agreement before they get married and then be sure not to show unhappiness after ward about the situation.

Unfortunately as society goes, "cookie cutter" is the way to go. You got the one for your house. The one for your car. The one for the kids and the dog. Don't forget the picket fence. Last but not least, the one for your marriage. And you can buy them all at your local Wal-Mart or Bed Bath&Beyond.
We're like robots, programmed by hundreds of years of civil statutes and traditions. Nobody dares stray too far from what is deemed "appropriate" or "normal". For if they do, and they sometimes do, they are immediately outcast from the social folds and labeled accordingly. "Whores", "cheats", and "weirdos". All comedy aside though, I would like to speak my mind on a couple of issues.

Do you have something to say about all this? Read the article and comment.