Smart Talk: Why Do Men Cheat?

Smart Talk: Why Do Men Cheat?

The article examining why men would cheat on a beautiful woman (i.e. What was Tiger Woods thinking?!), really struck a nerve. You all seemed to have something to say on the subject and your answers got to the core of what makes a relationship successful or unsuccessful.

Here is some of what you had to say:

Men overwhelmingly want to love and please therir wives. Men want to have happily ever after as well. Men get very little positive attention compared to women. From the time that little girls are born there are much more clothes for them. Everyone oohs and ahs over the little dresses, patent leather shoes and the lacy panties. Then in high school the girls get made over because of the prom and the dress, Then they get engaged and it is over the ring, the dress etc. The wedding is all about the bride. Then when she gets pregnant it is all about the pregnancy and the child birth and the new baby. During all of these times the man is the just the accessory and gets no attention. Then he is routinely deprived of sex from then on in. Now we live in the day where men are routinely dismissed, disrespected and made to feel irrelevant. Maureen Dowd even wrote a column a couple of years ago where she described the only reason that a woman even needs a man is to be a sperm donor and other than that we are pretty worthless.Even in the commercials, the man is portrayed as this hapless boob who has gotten himself and or his family in trouble only to have the heroic woman swoop in to save the day,, alll the while tossing off condascending and disrrespedtul comments to the husband,

Ladies, reverse sexism (misandry) is alive and well and yet you refuse to admit to any fault.


And yet I had a relationship that included almost daily sex nless it was physically impossible due to illness and I respected my husband in every way as a person and a partner and he still cheated...and ya everyone wondered why since I was so much better looking than his "conquests". Sometinmes the old adage is true....somepeople cheat, period, end of discussion. The reasons for cheating are much more varied and run deeper than "sexual starvation" or lack of respect. In fact, cheating indicates a profound lack of respect for your partner on the part of the cheater. It is always blamed on the injured partner but the reality is if you lie and cheat YOU are the party that is the aggressor not the injured one. Problems in a marriage/relationship should be worked out ane compromises made that can be lived with by both partners...blame and more sex rarely lead to happy healthy relationships in the long run.

I can say this with absolute confidence being both a counselor AND a survivor.