Barbie Designer Was A Closeted Skirt-Chaser


Barbie's designer was a swinging, closeted homosexual. This explains the garish pink Dreamhouse.

Barbie and Ken's creator, Jack Ryan, had a voracious sexual appetite that spanned both sexes and included a short-lived marriage to Zsa Zsa Gabor. Who would've known?

Author Jerry Oppenheimer, in his new book, Toy Monster: The Big, Bad World of Mattel (Oh, c'mon. Is Mattel really that bad ass?), writes that Ryan was a "full-blown seventies-style swinger" with "a manic need for sexual gratification."

Also (this will shock nobody) Barbie was based off Ryan's horny female ideal—a tall, leggy, blonde with disproportionately large breasts. Well, when he was trying to be straight, we guess.

"When Jack talked about creating Barbie . . . it was ... almost like listening to a sexual pervert," his pal Steven Gnass is quoted as saying.

There's also a humorous quote in the book from one of the statuesque ladies he hired to voice Barbie. Ryan, reportedly, said he loved her height so much because it meant he could "stick his nose" in her breasts when he hugged her.

So wait. People were shocked when they found out he was a homosexual? A "designer" of some sort who loves hanging with and complimenting the pretty ladies sounds like about every third guy at The Cock in the east village.

Ryan got his start designing missiles for the Pentagon but found his true calling working as vice president of Research and Design for Mattel. Along with Barbie, he also helped design Chatty Cathy and Hot Wheels.

Despite marrying and having three children, Ryan was a closeted homosexual who died of AIDS in 1991.