Brad Pitt Says No Affair Happened

Brad Pitt

Brad Pitt tries to make sense of the Angelina Jolie - Jennifer Aniston mess.

We know, it must be a slowlowlowlowlow news day if we're still talking about the Pitt-Aniston-Jolie sitchy. This triangle needs a tricky trimming or a triple triage, the trite trifling triumphalists. According to W (by way of Celebutopia), the typically stoic (yeah, we said it) Brad Pitt is putting his 2 cents, goodwill and handsomeness into the limelight to prevent an all-out war between Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie.

Basically, the Pitt has told anyone willing to listen that there was no affair between him and Angelina Jolie while he was dating Jennifer Aniston. He goes on to state that principle photography and reshoots for Mr. And Mrs. Smiff took a year and during said rotation of the sun, he and Jennifer Aniston split. And, presumably, at that point, Jolie, like a shark smelling blood or an electronics salesman sensing ignorance, went in for the kill. The rest, as they say, happened.

We wonder if The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button needs the quick shot-in-the-arm that a little celebrity controversy could aid. Or he's just had enough of these shenanigans. A normal guy (like John Mayer?) would welcome this catfight potential, "No ladies, don't fight over little old me. But if you do, wear these tear-away costumes and use this baby pool of KY for your… Pitt?"

Heckler Spray grabs another part of the W press release and goes with the idea that Brad Pitt does love both women and thinks the media is to blame for all of this meshugas. Interesting theory, the media doing anything but objectively answering questions that the public has a right to know. We bet Brad Pitt thinks that there are American politicians out there who want better their situations rather than serve the people. Good thinking, Quirky Quirkpatrick.

We have a feeling that this thing isn't going to be put to bed for some time. And we don't blame Jennifer Aniston for being slightly bitter. She had the Greatest Guy Who Ever Lived and now St. Angelina has him. George Clooney needs to make a ruling at some point and end this insanity. His word is law in Hollyweird.


Photos: Splash