Love, Self

Dear Men, 20 'Sexy' Gifts You Should NEVER Buy For A Woman (Ever!)

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Some might say a lacy teddy or a feather tickler is more of a gift for him than for her—selfish, even. But, personally, I love sexy gifts. Not only am I a little greedy when it comes to my lingerie drawer, but I love the reminder that my guy thinks I'm a sex goddess! 

That said, I get why some guys are afraid to shop for lingerie. The best shopping for romantic gifts occurs through interpreting another person's fantasies; the gift should really reflect the way the woman sees herself in bed, not the way the man sees his lady. If she's classy, then don't go trashy. In my mind, I'm burlesque star Dita Von Teese in bed, so I'll be bewildered, to say the least, by a present in the style of Boob Job McGee, Tara Reid. 

Are you a little skittish about buying your lady something sexy? I'm here to help you, boys! These are some "sexy" gift ideas NOT to use.

  1. Anything crotchless
  2. Anything edible (Especially jars of that weird chocolate body paint)
  3. Panties two or three sizes smaller than her butt
  4. Bras two or three sizes larger than her breasts
  5. Vibrating nipple clamps (unless she's into that sort of thing)
  6. Sex-in-the-shower handcuffs
  7. A gift certificate for a waxing or laser hair removal
  8. Getting your own chest waxed
  9. A French maid outfit (Unless she's explicitly asked for one)
  10. About 90 percent of porn, which is usually marketed towards dudes
  11. Pubic hair dye
  12. Lap dancing classes
  13. A terrifying-looking spanking paddle/riding crop
  14. Cheap massage oil
  15. Lingerie in an itchy fabric
  16. Installing a stripper pole in the bedroom
  17. Anal beads
  18. Anything she needs to inflate
  19. A sex swing
  20. Sex favor coupons

Now we need some ideas for sexy holiday gifts that don't suck!

Written by Jessica Wakeman for The Frisky.