Top 10 'Ask YourTango' Questions of 2009

people on a heart

Every day, brave people like you are asking tough questions in the Ask YourTango forum. Because you bared your souls with complete openness and honesty, you've helped us all make our own relationships a little better. Here are our top 10 favorite questions of 2009:

1. Is Online Dating Cheating?

i have been with a man for a year been living together for six months he gets e mail from on line dating sites girls "offering" their all...he say he has been on those sites for a long time i think he should cancel and bow out of those "match maker hot date" sites

2. Is It Ever Okay to Get Back with An Abusive Ex?

I am madly in love with my ex boyfriend but he has substance abuse issues, has broken my things, and hit me once in the past. Is there any hope that he can change and we can have a normal loving relationship?

3. Does My Mother-in-Law Hate Me?

A couple weeks after my husband and I got married, my mother-in-law made the comment that she didn't know why her son would marry me... she has since told me that I would make a horrible mother and should not have children. She also makes it a point to tell me that I don't save my money properly, and that I don't take care of the house the way that I should... I'm confused because before my husband proposed to me, my mother-in-law would confide in me and we would talk and spend quality time with one another. I now dread going to my in laws because I never know what horrible thing is going to come out of her mouth next! My husband tells me that it's just the way she is that I need to ignore her, but her comments hurt and I don't know how to ignore her without getting upset... any help on how to deal with her would be great, it is starting to put stress on my marriage and I really don't want to go down that path!

4. How Do I Get a Man to Leave His Wife?

I've been dating this guy for 2 yrs now. He says he loves me&he's trying to leave his wife but can't because his daughter is living with them&has kids. He's afraid his wife will [do] something stupid.

5. Should A Newly Married Couple End Facebook and MySpace Relationships with the Opposite Sex?

My wife and I recently got married... we met on internet chat and friendship became love and love into marriage. However, one thing that is strange, we both are still chatting with internet friends, most of whom we have never met... I have girls wanting to add me as friend and asking to meet me... she is still chatting with guys that she has had on her list for over a year or two and of course more guys are trying to meet her as well. What should we do? How should we handle this?

6. Should I Confront the Other Woman?

We are not legally separated or divorced. He left me and my young son one day (told me he would do it but never when he would leave) and said that he needed time to figure things out. I did not assume that meant having an affair and now I fear that any chance we have to reconcile is squashed by this woman's presence in his life. She is a homewrecker and I will do anything to improve our marriage for the sake of our son, who misses his daddy very much and wants us to live together again. I just want her to know my feelings about what she is doing and tell her to backoff until my husband and I have cleared up our marriage one way or another.

7. Am I Destined to Be Single?

I am a smart woman who's been told she's attractive. But my whole life I've been unlucky in love. Am I meant to be alone? I know a lot of other people like me. Are some people just meant to be single?

8. What Can I Do About No Libido?

Now it mostly seems like a chore for me to have sex with him. I love him to no end but I can never seem to get in the mood. Role playing doesn't help, porn doesn't help, using "toys" doesn't help either. I just can't seem to get horny anymore. It's very upsetting because my fiance still has a huge sex drive and I never want to do it with him. And I can tell it hurts him that I don't want it.

9. Am I Wrong to Leave Our Marriage of 20 Years Because I Don't Want to Live with His Parents?

His parents have lived with us for 20 years, not because they are old and frail, they are in better shape medically than I am. They are both retired, live in a mother in law suite next door to me, have free reign of my house while I am at work all day, snoop through my stuff, I have proof, I taped my bedroom door at the bottom and sure enough, came home to torn tape (unnoticed by them ofcourse). I have begged my husband to move, I even left him for a few months due to this problem but he would not budge. I plan to move out as soon as our daughter is 18, she is 16 1/2. Am I being selfish? He is aware of my plan when our daughter is of age.

10. How Do I Know if He's The One?

I have been dating this guy for over a year and a half now and am definitely in love with him and we have talked about getting engaged, however I have recently got a new job and I like to flirt/ think i might have a crush on one of my co-workers. So I was just wondering what thoughts people have on this... Thanks!