To Snoop Or Not To Snoop?


Snooping on your partner is nosy and an invasion of privacy, but is that always a bad thing?

I used to be one of those self-righteous types who declared I'd sooner break up with a man than stoop to snoop. This stance wasn't because I was noble or had never been tempted—I'm not and I have. I just remember all too well the day my mother read my journal aloud to my entire family. I was 17 and, as you can probably imagine, that book was bursting to the seams with embarrassing, angst-laden, mawkish, teenage drama. To say I was mortified ... well, that doesn't begin to describe the way I felt. The Frisky: Dear Wendy: "Should I Date Around Before Committing To My Boyfriend?"

Since that day, I've always been very respectful of other people's privacy, in particular my partners' and, unfortunately, often to my own detriment. I'd listen to suspicious friends' tales of hacking into their boyfriends' emails or reading their texts and waste no time voicing my disapproval. The Frisky: The Frisky's Guide To Snooping

But as you get older, you stop seeing things in black and white and realize there are shades of gray and people don't always behave the way you'd like them to. The Frisky: Dating Don'ts: Why You're Still Single

When a live-in ex started "working late" and getting snippy with me on the rare occasions he was home, perhaps I should've gone through his wallet or dropped by the office to see what was up. Maybe I would have noticed that he'd started schtupping his coworker. The Frisky: MERRIme, A Web Comedy About Online Dating

When Janet's boyfriend of nearly seven years started disappearing for hours at a time and not picking up her calls, her gut told her something was up. Naturally, her man denied it, claiming she was just "crazy." (Don't you hate that?) So she went through his call logs and searched his internet history. Her Nancy Drew sleuthing revealed that her boyfriend was calling sex chat lines and hiring prostitutes. Janet didn't want to reveal that she'd been checking up on him, so she just insisted she "knew" something was up. He guessed that she'd been nosing around and had the nerve to get angry at her!

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