Self

My Old Blog, A History Of Crazy

My old blog, a history of crazy

good,
and who'll use her physical and sexual assets to the fullest for your enjoyment
and who can give you attractive, healthy children

Someone who's the envy of others and who'll
garner approval from your friends and family, as well make you feel sexier and
more attractive when you're together.

Intelligence, confidence, goals... That's
sexy.

I heard a metaphor about women being like
apples once.  Some guys are content to
pick up the rotten ones that fall off the trees on to the ground.  That used to be me.  The best ones, though, are at the top of that
tree and are the hardest to reach.  I
look forward to making that climb.

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Subject : on leave

Posted Date: : Aug 29, 2009 3:11 PM

I love my friends, I love my family. 

But,

This feels more like a good bye than a
reunion. 

I have no interest in coming back to or
staying in Ohio after next year. 

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Subject : paraphrased from CT3

Posted Date: : Aug 24, 2009 8:44 PM

Here is the unlocked version of the blog I
just posted last night:

God may or may not be trying to get back
into my life, and I'm open to suggestions.

I know I can't count on a relationship to
complete me or bring meaning to my life, but I'd like to start one that has
long term potential and that would be more fulfilling than random flings and
hook ups.  I'd like to find someone that
challenges me to do more and that really leaves an impression on me. 

I'm doing my best to not allow myself to
settle for whatever comes along.  I don't
want to spend my life in an alcoholic haze. 
I don't want to fall back on old habits. 
I want to move on from my past and start a few new chapters. 

I know, I sound like a 14 year old girl
about to start high school, but I'm old now and I really should start making
changes to my habits. 

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Subject : catchy title 3

Posted Date: : Aug 23, 2009 10:45 PM

When you know there is something missing in
your life you start looking for it.  You
can never be sure where you'll find it but you know you'll know when you
do. 

My sister thinks its Jesus trying to come
back into my life.  I have no idea about
that.  I did go to a church service today
and it was pretty interesting.  The
church itself seems pretty progressive and forward thinking.  I saw how happy those people looked singing
their songs and what not, but I don't know. 
At this point in my life I don't know if adopting an imaginary friend is
what I need to do. 

I think I'm looking for some sort of
meaningful relationship, which sounds retarded if you know me at all.  I just want to start a new chapter and be in
the best possible position when I get out next year.  If there is anything I do know, its that I
can't try to force it and if it just isn't there, it's not going to magically
show up. 

These next few weeks, I'm gonna try to
close a few old chapters in my life.  I
saw an old friend about a week ago in California and I was amazed at how little
I had in common with her anymore.  We had
lost touch for a while and since she moved out west decided to hang out like
old times once I got back.  We talked and
caught up and went to a movie and I realized I wasn't interested in keeping the
friendship alive.  I had moved on, and it
felt like progress.

I spent a few weeks before I got back
talking to a nice girl from orange county. 
It seemed like their was a lot of chemistry between us and that we would
get along just fine.  Well, without
sounding like a tool, there just wasn't any real spark when we hung out.  We spent most of a weekend hanging out and
the next day I called to tell her that I just wanted to be friends.  Progress, right?  I just need to keep myself from trying to
force it to work and from settling for something that I know isn't what I'm
looking for. 

My eyes have never been this open, and its
hard but I'm really looking forward to this journey. 

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