Beauty Is A State Of Mind: Sex After Mastectomy

Self, Sex

Before all of this cancer drama started, I liked to dress up in sexy bedroom outfits and drive Adam nuts. I think for both of us it was easy to pretend that by dressing up it was just like it used to be. From there we evolved into less theatrical sex, and I started to not wear the breast form as we became more comfortable with my new topography. Adam is such a fantastic partner that the awkwardness I thought would be there wasn't. Believe me, if your partner can battle cancer with you he's a keeper. Anyone that can get aroused by a bald, single-breasted girl is worth his weight in gold.

Sometimes it's difficult to view myself in the mirror and not sigh. I hate how my hair has grown back in curly. I'll go to adjust my cleavage and realize I have nothing there. Finding clothes that don't draw attention to my concave chest can be a challenge. I can't have reconstruction for 2-3 years because of the reoccurrence risk of my type of cancer (it would be terrible to have to take apart a reconstructed breast). So for the time being, I'm stuck with mastectomy bras and breast forms, which seem to have been designed by idiots—and for people who still have breasts! I need something to fill my concave cavity, but the forms themselves are concave on that side, expecting a small breast to fit in. And the bras are all the grandma-type that look like they've been shaped together out of waffle cones. News flash, designers: women who have lost a breast still want to be able to feel sexy! Is that so much to ask? Flaws? Scars? How To Look Past Your Imperfect Body

Still, I have learned a lot of things I might never have known. As women, we have a tendency to nit-pick at the small stuff like love handles and big thighs, but when it comes down to it, we are not a sum of our parts. Being beautiful really is a state of mind. Physical beauty is fleeting, but if you maintain the idea that you are a goddess, you can be. Some makeup, a short skirt and heels can make you a tiger in the bedroom—even if you are missing a breast. The things I have learned this year about beauty and strength were not easily garnered, but I consider what has happened to me a gift. I can still turn heads walking down the street… I just have a little secret.

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