Screams of an Agitated Girl


As a matter of fact-ly, I am so high right now that I could stand on the edge of my roof with my arms spread wide and embrace the wind that seeps into me.

Just to add to the above point, in the past two weeks, I have tried this thrice, just for the heck of killing my "I will fall" scare. I hate to be scared.

Undoubtedly you are busy. And I respect that.

But respect by no means is an indication that I will sweep myself from the grounds I lay on for the past many years. I am sorry but that is that and it will stay like that.

I have come to terms with the fact that your disappearing acts are only because busy is what grasps you and your life. You have work to tend to at work and a work after that to tend to when you are off work. So pretty much you don't have a minute off your couple-i-hood with your work. Does it become any obvious how and what is pretty much there in the conscious and unconscious state of my mind?

BUT, this has been here and there for over a year now has it not? Nevertheless I am still waiting for this busy season to subside.

I have found a detour though. In the lives of these other authors, who modestly carve out these unforeseen characters, ones I have never met and will never meet. But they give me a pleasure to associate myself with. Yes, very superficial! But does the love of my life leave me another option?

I have chased after you through the years unconditionally. You open up or don't. You speak or stay muted. You show or are indifferent. In all that there is to you, I will chase you until the day my breaths come to a halt. I had loved you when you were just sam the hunk, and there has been no change since you became sam the busy man, and I have no doubt if sam the drunk and drained will push anything off from the plinth it has stood on all this while. I know your passions and even if I am not close to being a part of it, I will be passionate for you.

"Doing me a favor AD?" absolutely not!
I think I am just thinking aloud to myself. It is more of telling me than you. Bear with me.

You asked me some time ago "Don't you love me anymore?"
Of course I do, it is habitual. Remember my question from yesterday, the one you chose to ignore? Well I asked you just because I haven't heard "I miss you." from you lately. I don't need big things to make me happy. Very small things put me on a pedestal from where I flow and not fall.

I am not aware as to the new treatment my rants will receive. Once upon a time, not too long ago it was a welcome. I am being hopeful that all that was, is still there. I have just missed you so much in the past weeks that I have bled without a show. I have wept without tears and shattered without falling to pieces.

I really appreciate this feeling which embraces me.
Whether one sided or an isolated feeling, it is one that has made me soar through territories people deem to but never get there.

Good Morning Sweetheart.
I miss you.
I love you.

    The Agitated Girl received an Agitating Reply ... to add up to the Agitation.

"When did you send this mail? I don’t remember receiving it but it was there in the mailbox today. anyway, this requires a detailed reply and that my friend… requires time!"

The wait was never over. He never got over with his busy-ness and then we stopped existed for each other. So it remained a wonder at my end, an indifference at his. I screamed again... but in silence.