The Beauty Of Dating At 40

Love, Self

1. You Learn To Appreciate Your Body. At 26 I was a sexy size 8. I also had the metabolism of a 26 year old, which was the main reason I was a size 8. At 33 I was a size 12, at 36 a size 14, at 37 almost a size 16. At 40, an age when a lot of people just naturally slow down, I trimmed down to a size 10/12. Why? Because I didn't take my body for granted like I did at 30. At 30 my body just was what it was because of my genes and metabolism. The body I have now is one I earned by working for it. I learned to appreciate the body I now have and not take it for granted. You won't see us bathing in the sun or out boozing til 3 am and looking haggard or weathered for two days after. We stopped frying our hair with dyes and irons and treatments. We moisturize, we drink less, we spa and steam, we work out, we eat better than we did in our twenties and thirties because we know the benefits.

2. You Learn to Appreciate Life Itself More. The older you get, the more likely it is that you'll lose people close to you. From 30 - 40 I experienced some profound losses in my life. Nothing makes you realize how life can change in an instant like an unexpected loss. 5 Reasons To Grow Old With Someone

3.You Learn to Value Sex More. You've had the flings and the one night stand. You've had the hot three times a night sessions. But by 40 you've been around the block enough to learn how great sex is, how much better it is, when you're having it with someone you trust and respect. You're okay with saying no and heading home to watch TV or go to the gym or just hanging by yourself. You don't "need" the sex. You'd like it, sure. But you just don't feel compelled to screw someone because they make you feel pretty. 5 Things I Wish I Knew About Sex At 30

4. You Learn To Value Your Time More. At 26 I didn't care about staying out til 2 am and waking up with a hangover and nursing it for the next 24 hours. Now? I can't be bothered. I wouldn't want to give up a full day to couch lounging.  I have errands to do, exercise to do, stuff to do. I no longer hang with friends who are emotionally draining and toxic. I've pared down my inner circle to close friends who know me and don't bullshit me and waste my time.

5. People Expect You To Look Great at 30. When You Look Great at 40, You Exceed Expectations. This one is self-explanatory. Anybody can look hot at 25. But at 40? Not as easy.

6. You Can Spot The Douchebags & Toxic Bachelors/Bachelorettes. Been there, done that. Whoo..look at the time! Nice talkin' to ya! Yeah, I have a re-run of Mad Men (whose new season started Aug 16th people!) to watch. What? You want to "hang out?" I'll let you know.  No more faux friendships with women who wear you down with their drama and self-created problems who call you at 2a m crying because they called their ex and he forwarded it to voicemail and now they think he's seeing someone else.  You're done with the friend who you went to happy hour or a party with who stands at the bar and ignores you while she scans the room for hot guys. No more hanging with the friend who always has a crisis or drama in her life. If you are dealing with these friends at 40, get rid of them. They'll only going to drag you down.

7.You're Okay With Being Alone. No more dating people who are "eh." No more drama. No more frustrations. You are perfectly content with a night with friends or a date with Netflix. You don't feel pressured to be out just because it's a Friday night and Friday night is "date night." At 40, Friday night is Friday night. You don't buy in to those dumb peer pressure things.

8. You've Figured Out Your Issues. Or at least, you should have by now. You've taken a look back and done some cross-checking and determined what mistakes you made and why. You moved your baggage of your 20's and 30's from that huge suitcase to a nice, compact overnight bag. 15 Relationship Mistakes We Wish We'd Stop Making

9. You Value Marriage & Commitment More. My belief is that if you work harder to get something or prepare for something, when you do get it you value it more. That means there will be one trip down the aisle for you...not one at 30 when you're all giddy and in love and then one at 45 because your first marriage crashed and burned and you spent the majority of your 30s hating the opposite sex and insisting you prefer being single and will never marry again. You'll marry someone closer to yoru own age, which will help establish a more even balance of power in the relationship. Marrying A Much Older Man Made Me A Better Person

10. You're More In Control. Let's face it. At 25 or even 35 you're still kinda flying blind a bit when it comes to sex and dating. You're still living in a state of confusion about what the other person is thinking. By 40, you can figure it out on your own. You know the signs. 

11. We're Sexier Because We Own It. F*ck that Twilight guy and Chuck Bass. We have Bart Bass, Roger Sterling & Don Draper. Thirty year olds in suits? Cute. Forty year olds in suits? Elegant and powerful. And who needs Rachel McAdams (whom I do love, btw) or Blake Lively when you have Michelle Pfeiffer  and Annabella Sciorra? We are comfortable in our skin, know our way around the bedroom and don't need to seek your approval anymore.

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