How To Romance Your ADD Lover


A few no-fail tips to keep the attention-challenged in your bed.

We're fully aware that those of you who are truly plagued with ADD or ADHD won't even make it the whole way through this article. So needless to say, this write-up isn't for you—it's for your lov-ah. Love Advice From An Unlikely Source

G. Frank Lewis, Ph.D. and consultant for the messiah of psychologists—Dr. Phil, writes a series of blogs posts centered around living (and loving!) with ADD/HD on

Thus the title of Lewis' latest post, "ADD and Sex."

Some say the aforementioned disorder doesn't even exist. ADD, they say, is just a byproduct of living in our bright, blinking, overstimulated MTV video kind of a culture. Normal is mundane. Regardless, millions of people claim this (real or imagined) disorder as the reason they fail in a variety of personal areas.

Like being able to stay excited about sex with the same person, for example.

(Insert you-don't-have-to-have-ADD-for that! joke)

Lewis earnestly outlines three traps to skillfully avoid if you find yourself tragically in love/lust/like with someone claiming to have ADD/HD. But we'd go so far as to say these "traps" should be avoided even if you're dating someone with a stellar attention span.

TRAP #1: Don't let the sex get stale.

Whenever you try and schedule sex with a person with a rich fantasy-life, you are going to empty the energy fast. There is nothing worse than making sex the last event of the day, after everything is done, the kids have gone to bed, the dishes are done and the Tonight Show is over. This is like trying to find an interesting television show after the power is turned off. There is just nothing of interest but a blank screen.

Sex sessions as routine as taking out the garbage or turning off the television will make even the most concentration-gifted man or women "rich in fantasy life." This should apply to all beings. Seriously.

TRAP #2: Mix it up already! Nobody likes a one-trick pony.

The individual with ADD thrives on imagination and creativity. If you are still doing it the same way you did five years ago, I would predict that you are doing it alone, even if your ADDer is physically there.

As opposed to those who don't have ADD and just loooove it the same way every time.

TRAP #3: Make believe it's your first date again.

Regardless of age and experience, women still like to feel like a prize and pursued as a worthy conquest. Men still like to think they can capture their treasures with clever tactics, even if their lines are as old as leisure suits. It is fun, especially for those with high needs for novelty, to surprise their partners with dress-up dates and suggestive moves at the dinner table, even if both of you are too tired to turn out the light at 8:00 P.M. It is the thought that counts.

So there you have it, reader. If you find yourself dating (or just bedding) somebody with ADD, make sure you spice it up. You've got to be the Cirque du Soleil of lovers.

Or at least avoid scheduling sex, change your style every five years and go on dates. You take your pick.