The Mark Sanford Rundown

mark sanford
Heartbreak, Self

The South Carolina governor has some more splaining to do.

Stop me if you've heard this one before. Here goes, there's a very charming governor. And one day, this man (an up-and-comer in his political party) decides to stray from his wife. Things were swimming right along and BAM he up and gets caught. This time around there were no hookers involved (nor any Arkansas highway patrolmen). There was just a guy who ditched his security detail, made up some cockamamie story about hiking, forgot to transfer power to his Lieutenant Governor and took the express train* to Argentina.

As you likely know, this guy's name is Mark Sanford. He's the governor of South Carolina and really let a lot of people down, including his family, the GOP and the taxpayers of the Palmetto State (ironically, South Carolina produces more peaches than it's Peach State neighbor Georgia, peachy and irony).

Because he bungled his duty to the great state of South Cackalacky (full disclosure, I went to college in SC and think it's pretty swell as far as states go), his resignation is being called for by some of the state's biggest newspapers, some of his political rivals and even some GOP supporters. But the governor, who was more or less separated from his wife when he went down to Argentina, refuses to quite because it would be the wrong message to his sons. "Whaaa?" is reaction that would be appropriate. Adults do a lot of crazy things (particularly in the name of love and lust) but the idea that you can condone keeping your job after so betraying the trust of your constituents and coworkers is a sticky wicket.

While infidelity is evidently illegal in SC (though they probably don't have jurisdiction given that the carnal knowledge took place away from her "Smiling Faces, Beautiful Places"), it's not why the governor should consider quitting. Obviously, his marriage to Jenny Sanford (whom Wowowow is really behind) was all but over when he made his way down to Buenos Aires, but his dereliction of duty and waste of taxpayer funds could be too much of a breach of conduct to continue. And only a narcissist wouldn't think that, sometimes, falling on your sword is the most valorous solution to a problem. That press conference has to rank as one of the all-time worst Father's Days on record (wait, what day did Oedipus kill Laius?) Read: What We Learn From Gov. Sanford's Love E-mails

It's ironic (yeah, I really do think) that both Sanford and John Ensign were vocal in demanding a resignation from Bill Clinton during the Lewinski/ Kenneth Starr/ Linda Tripp/ Sloppy Joe fiasco. It's almost comical how Republican Party has undone itself over the last several years with their moral laxity. Granted, politicians are all really good at saying one thing and doing another but the handful of infidelity scandals with the Family Values / "dignity and honor" party. At the end of the day, I guess we all eat, sleep, defecate (though women don't do that last one) and get inappropriate boners.

Our friend, Jessica Wakeman, over at The Frisky wonders if the cover up is actually worse than doing the deed. I can't say for sure, lying and cheating are too hand-in-hand for me to really know where one ends and the other begins. 

Any thoughts on politicians being more philander-y than the rest of the population? Or do they just get caught more regularly? How lucky is Sanford that Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett and Billy Mays died this week?

*Kidding, you can't take a train to Argentina.