I Pretended To Have An Affair

fake affair
Love, Heartbreak

What I've found out is this: don't ever let go of the person you love so dearly because the felling is unbearable. Here's what happens if you do.

1- You can't find closure for something you destroyed with your own hands.
2- You eventually find out that letting him go was the worst mistake you ever made.
3- Every day you seek a different goal in life, just hoping something will fill that emptiness.
4- Sometimes you want to scream it out, tell somebody, tell him that you love him, always have and always will.
5- Everything you do is centered unconsciously on that special person.
6- You hate yourself for what you did to him. You can't trust yourself anymore.
7- You never give your best to those you date, which makes it impossible for you to hold on to a real relationship. Deep down the only person you ever want to be in a relationship with is him.
8- You lie to yourself that you are in love with every guy that comes your way, wishing it could come to pass and maybe you could be free of this awful feeling.
9- Deep down you hope that maybe someday you will be back with your loved one. You know it is impossible but still won't accept the truth.
10- You cry sometimes when reality hits you, but you dry your tears telling yourself there is hope, that there is a chance...

This is how I have been feeling and it ain't fun. How do I get the courage to speak up when I know the answer? Then how do I move on with my life? I haven't had a life since he left.