Spouse or Kids..Who Comes First?


Always putting your spouse aside for the kids?  Do you feel your marriage and time with your spouse can be better spent after the kids are grown up and out of the house?  I assure you, if that is your game plan, by the time your kids get out of the house OR SOONER, the two of you will have grown so far apart that divorce will sound even more appealing.  Marriage is a strong union and is the BASE of the family.  Children feel more secure in an environment where they can see their parents actually taking the time to be a couple.  If you always push aside your spouse for time with your kids, you have to consider what message you are sending to your kids about marriage and how they are supposed to treat their spouses when they get married!!!    If you make plans with your spouse and then your kids want to suddenly go to a movie, canceling the plans with your spouse to spend time with your kids will leave your spouse feeling rejected.  Also, if your spouse is asking to spend time with you, please do not say "Lets see what the kids want to do first." every time.  Repeated occasions of those two things will lead your marriage into sure destruction.  How will your kids benefit from a divorce?   If you have made plans with your spouse, it is OK to tell your kids that you both love them, but tonight is Mom and Dad night.  It is HEALTHY for your kids folks to show your kids that the relationship you have with your spouse is an important one.  Make one night a week a DATE night and tell your kids that this night belongs to Mom and Dad unless there is a fire, flood, or planned school event.  Divorced adults with kids..your kids will come first in that instance above your dates!  However, make sure you are able to make your spouse a priority after you are married or back to divorce court you will be!  And for goodness sakes men, tell your wives you love them every day. Even though the love is constant, we yearn to hear those words.  When the relationship with your spouse is strong, everyone in your family will benefit. Spouses will benefit in other ways behind closed doors!!


Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
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