Dudes With Girlfriends Are Sometimes Easy

the other woman

The other woman shouldn't get all the blame for cheating.

Misleading headline? Perhaps. But I've been noticing more and more cheating these days. Just in the last month alone we've had the Jon and Kate Plus 8 fiasco, the Mel Gibson baby mama drama and the hurley burly surrounding Sean Penn and that girl from Star Wars. In fact, a study came out the other day that said people in committed relationships are involved in 100% of all cheating cases; the study was sponsored by the Human Fund (wait for it).

So, because these cheaty cheatersons aren't dancing with themselves (like Billy Idol) it's really easy to show our sympathy for the cuckold or cuckquean by drinking The Other Man (or The Other Woman) flavor of Hatorade and calling it a day.

But that's a little a bit myopic, at YourTango, we have a saying, "It takes more than one person to perform a complicated, sultry Argentine dance." Our BFFs (and that's forever) over at Lemondrop had a great story about dudes with girlfs being free game if, and only if, they're "in the field." Give it a quick read to get to the punch line.

While this is huge oversimplification of the case (i.e. karma's a bee-aye-otch), please indulge in the following bit of logic. There are three main scenarios in which a guy cheats (and generally with the understanding that he won't get caught or he's drunk): it's a one-off, he's a serially unfaithful (like Olivier Martinez) or there's a real connection with someone new.

The last situation is the Haley's Comet of cheating; it comes to fruition once (twice if you're lucky) lifetime. So a gal might wager on that action because he could be "the one," and they'll have one less guest to invite to the wedding. The first two scenarios border on indistinguishable from most people's perspective but are quite different. A one-time infidelity (and the guilt / repentance) could jolt a flagging relationship back into groove or prove that it's time to pull the plug. And a dude who is a constantly on the prowl increases his risk of getting caught with each new betrayal. All in all, it almost seems like the girlf is really being done a service because clearly something is not right with this dude or their relationship.

Sure, the reasoning in the above 'graphs is a flawed from the word "go" but it holds a bit of water (roughly a thimble). And, for some weird marriage-is-sacred rationale, it is massively wrongheaded when it comes to married or engaged folks (though that ring does suggest, per Alec Baldwin in The Departed, he "must have some cash and [his] c*ck works"). I'm in no way whatsoever advocating playing honey trap to a taken dude, it's a really good way to get bit in the ass (whether by the Karmic hammer of justice, the Herp or some crazed, weave-pulling aggrieved woman), but it is, ultimately, his responsibility not to cheat… James 1:14 covers this. And I would prefer if no one were to lead us into temptation but instead delivered us from evil, if you don't mind.

Please hit us with some feedback.