Technology: The New Compatibility Test

couple's wires crossed
Love, Self

Why your tech preference matters and what it says about you.

Compatibility was already complicated enough. She's an only-child; he's from a family of 12. He's a meticulous planner; she's fly-by-her-seat spontaneous. But technology is fast adding an entirely new layer of compatibility for would-be couples. And it can suss out the potential for a relationship in a matter of dates, reports Monica Hesse for The Washington Post.

Indeed, mismatched technology preferences can end a romance before it begins. The hardest hit generation? Thirtysomethings, Kelli Lawless, who helms Dating and Mating in America, told the Post.

Apparently, the forty-ish are most likely to be in sync technologically (with their preference for phone communication). Twentysomethings are most likely to experiment with tech gadgets until they figure out what love lines work best. But men and women in their thirties tend to take "independent, a-la-carte approaches to their technology," according to Lawless.

A few of the most common tech mismatches:

1. To Text or To Call? After a first date, she's waiting for that first follow-up call. Instead, she gets a text—the first techno letdown that can signify more to come. She wonders if this is the type of man who, instead of returning a call by dialing, texts back. Maybe he's dumped a girl by e-mail before, she imagines. Two months of dating go by. A total of four phone conversations take place. Phone calls become a big, scary thing. Like that, it's over.

2. What's Your Frequency? In the first month of dating, his daily texting gradually increases until he's sending five, six, up to seven short messages a day. "Hey, beautiful!", "It's raining out", "What do you feel like eating tonight?" She's feeling a bit smothered by the influx of sweet-nothing texts that have nada to do with specific plans. There's no exchange of address, no time-to-be-there included. She eventually gets vexed by the frequent interruption and stops responding. He feels unwanted. Thus, game over.Relationship Red Flags

3. Tech Savvy or Stalkeresque? She's following him...on Twitter. He thought he wanted a partner who could be with him every step of the way, even as he navigates his moves for the day. But suddenly, he feels a whole lot less free. If I Tweet where I'm going, he wonders, is she going to show up there unannounced? Do I want this or not, he questions, adding in his mind that he is still technically not married and thus somewhat single. But how would she take it if he asked her not to show up at a Twitter-identified location unless explicitly invited? He mentions it. She gets the hint. Finito. 

4. But I'm Not On Facebook. Suave, under-the-fray pick-up lines these days sound as carefree as, "I'll Facebook you," or, "Are you on Twitter?" But what happens when the party being hit on is not on these sites? The tech wires cross instantly. The only option remaining is to ask publicly for a number and plug it into a phone. This opens the door to a bigger possibility of rejection. Some will accept this risk; others will move right along to the next Facebook-friendly face.

Readers: Any of these sound familiar to you? Do Tell!