Dear Jane,

Dear Jane,

Perhaps the best way to find a romantic partner would be, in my opinion, meeting, being friends, THEN falling in love.

All the real relationships I've had in my life did NOT result from
dating, but actually from a series of very interesting events. Some
people call it luck, coincidence, destiny, or fate. I just call it
providential. Dating is fine when it's with someone you actually feel a
connection with and want to invest the time and energy into seeing how
things will go. Coming upon that someone is RARE, for me. The problem
is that most people search, and then become too engrossed in the search
which makes them lose themselves. This is when desperation, feelings of
insecurity, sadness, etc turn them into idiots. Yes, the kind that act
retarded and will date anyone.

People are crazily into MARRIAGE, R'SHIPS, and LOVE. The reasons for this are both inner and outer influences.

Inner: Insecurity over who you are thus requiring a 'significant'
other; feeling that happiness only arrives in the form of a romantic
partner; inability to deal with loneliness or sexual frustration
(another prob, is not being able to ... differentiate btwn those two);
feeling unattractive, un-special, or problematic simply because you are
"single"; comparing.

Outer: Disney, Hollywood, mass media, traditionalism, religion, family
input, fairy farts (tales), etc....basically society in general.

If people (namely WOMEN) would just take a long look at what they do
ALREADY have, which is an insurmountable collection and supply of
goodness, health, friends, countless kinds of wealth and beauty, then
they'd be a lot less down about not being with "the love of their life."

--Do find (focus on) the love/fuck of the season.


Yours truly.