How Do You Define Chivalry?

chivalry dating etiquette

Is chivalry dead? Or has it just changed shape? One man weights in.

When I'm feeling jaded I can't help but agree with Dave Chappelle's assessment that chivalry is dead—and women killed it. Don't get me wrong, I honestly enjoy opening the door, picking up the check and planning dates (OK, planning dates can get a little old). But what really makes me nervous are all of the obscure rules, most of which seem a little antiquated to me. Por ejemplo:

- Standing up when you leave the table. This just increases the odds that I'll bump into something and spill your drink. Do you want that?

- Pulling out your chair. Maybe in a fancy restaurant, but otherwise this moves seems ostentatious to me.

- Walking you home (or to the subway). I was kind of freaked out when Smitten's own Lauren Bradshaw took it as a sign of disinterest when her date didn't walk her to the train. Thanks for the heads-up, Lauren.

- Calling to make sure you got home safe. When my mom and dad started dating, he called her after every date to double check that she wasn't attacked by wolves on the way home. If a guy did this now he'd be labeled a stalker, right? Give Advice: Am I Coming On Too Strong?

Beneath all of my snarky posturing, I really do want to be known as a chivalrous guy. But first I need to figure out what today's women expect from their dudes. So let's lay it out there: what makes a man a gentleman? Which traditions do you like, and which ones can be relegated to history?

P.S. I do know one thing—there's no way in hell I'm throwing my infamous leather jacket over a puddle for you. Sorry, I just love it too much.

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