Sperm activate by a mysterious process: capacitation. Plus a crazy condom ad.
Hey, ladies, we can't just turn it on and turn it off like some kind of GD (or GE) light switch. The magic needs a little conjuring. A little hocus-pocus, maybe a tipple of witch's brew and some tongue of snog go a long way to making Jack a fun boy*, namean?
And the interweb is reporting that our swimmers aren't too different. Per our good buds at The Frisky, sperm have to be activated (turned on, yeah baby!) in order to do their thing, fertilize, make plenty, put babies in bellies, et cetera. The process is called "capacitation" and scientists (those no-good eggheads) are a little puzzled about what it takes to get them "sanguine." I'd normally suggest a trip to a strip club and a Teddy Pendergrass album but that would be pretty obvious. A good bet would be to stay away from extreme radiation and high-powered magnets (just to be safe), though. I predict that some quackpots are going to start marketing capacitation-enhancing diets to men in their mid-to-late thirties. Vultures.
I'm glad that the male orgasm is finally getting its due for being a beautiful and mysterious process. Not something that the scientific method can measure, label, categorize and file.
In other news, a German ad agency really wants you to use a condom. Adweek has a post on this advertisement for Doc Morris Pharmacies. The message is, essentially, use a jimmy cap otherwise you could spawn the next Hitler (with a mustachioed zygote flagellating just ahead of a bunch of normative, white tadpoles). Glad that someone is taking safe sex seriously. They should probably get a little education on usage, a misused pro-pho is about as effective as the Maginot Line at stopping little Hitlers.
Finally, sperm is getting the attention it deserves and only 160 years after Moby Dick was written… think about it.
*Note: A different kind of fun boy, this one doesn't, necessarily, wear shiny shirts and listen to house music.