Chatting Up Chicks The Vassar Way

Buzz, Love

"Language Of Ladies" class is short-lived, possibly offensive.

The gorgeous and talented ladies over at Jezebel (their intern, Intern Katy) have rumbled, stumbled and bumbled across a tasty nugget from Vassar College.

Per the story at Jezebel, some of the fellas from Vassar (Lisa Simpson's safety school) were feeling a wee bit uneasy chatting up campus females. So, the school decided to indulge these tongue-tied young gents by offering a course called "The Language Of Ladies." A young guy who goes by the handle Daniel Abramson agreed to lecture the audit-only class (likely in exchange for getting off double-secret probation by crotchety, old dean whatserface). And this budding Frank TJ Mackey only made it one session before the school decided it was in everyone's best interests to cease (and likely desist).

The title of the first (and last) lecture was (still is) "Orienting Yourself for Women of the Orient." Though the class' reason for breathing is to educate young men about local customs worldwide (ostensibly so this year's spring break isn't a huge friggin' letdown like last year's), they may have wanted to start with something a little less foreign-y (the college is only about one-fifth 'minority' per Wikipedia). Such as "How to Score with a Workaholic Investment Banker After She Realizes This Year's Bonus Won't Cover A Trip To St. Barts And Her New Kitchen" or "How To Make A Move On Your Younger Sibling's Babysitter Without Being Narced Out To Your Parents," you know, stuff that a real Vassar man has to deal with on a fairly regular basis.

Frankly, I didn't know that Vassar dealt in men's education and thought that they were all assigned to a Yalie upon matriculation. Enough with the Vassar-bashing*, obviously some member(s) of the faculty thought that the course would be delivered (and received) in a tongue-in-cheek mien. Guess that wasn't in the cards. Somewhere along the way they must have forgotten to run the whole curriculum by Ryan Reynolds, Breckin Meyer and Anthony Edwards first. Oh, well, it looks like they'll have to learn about getting action the same way the rest of us did: suggestive hygiene product commercials. There may be a double-standard here but I think we're all over kvetching about that, right?

I suppose no matter how offensive the class was it was still better than listening to Robert Wuhl for 50 minutes. And I was really looking forward to downloading the notes for the second lecture, "Checking The Box: Chasing Czech Cha-Cha," before my trip to Prague.

Anyone out there actually take this class? Thoughts? Is there any merit in taking a class on the customs of women across the globe (even if it's thoughtful and doesn't reference "Orientals"?)

*I suppose the game I failed to pick up while barely graduating from a cow college doesn't leave me much room for self-righteous fun-poking, but what else can I do?