Real Life: What Made Me Cheat

Love, Heartbreak

because his father was in bad shape and he didn't me bitching at him while he had his father to think about. He missed my birthday and didn't even call or text me that day. Then, his father died. I had stopped emailing the guy from school during this time also.

I was there for him. I let him have his time, I let him cry on my shoulder. I gave him whatever he needed. I listened. I took off work to attend his father's funeral, although after two and a half years of dating his son, I'd never met the man. I went for him. (This blurb will be important in just a few paragraphs, so you might want to read it again.)

About two weeks after his father's funeral everything had been going great. He had less of an attitude, was acting optimistic, seemed eager to find work. I thought that things really might get better...Until one day he decided to check my computer (he had his own, no need to use mine other than to "snoop"). My messenger automatically loaded and showed I had new emails...and he couldn't resist. He found all of the emails from the other guy in my inbox (because I'm horrid about cleaning my messages out) and he read them all. He called me at work (which I hate) and proceeded to scream and cuss at me. He moved out, but came back the next day and ordered that I cease communication with the guy. I told him I would. His main complaint was that I had been talking about him behind his back, yet I reminded him that I tried to talk to him, I tried to communicate with him, and he never paid any attention to me.

Nonetheless, we go into November 2008 and he finally gets a job after he finally called about one of the job postings I'd given him. He went to work around the 2nd or 3rd week of the month. This ended four long months of me being the sole bread-winner.

In December he managed to give me around $200 for bills, which I didn't mind too much because he'd just gone back to work. I also took a part-time job because the bills had began to really stack up. I began working 6 and 7 days a week, and pulled several 16 hour days. I was exhausted most of the time, and wasn't really paying attention, but I knew that we weren't having sex on a regular basis and we weren't showing one another too much affection. Although throughout the four months he'd been unemployed, we had sex maybe 2 or 3 times.

I would come home, be exhausted, and I'd find that no clothes had been washed, no dishes had been done, no food was cooked, and the house was a wreck. He'd be asleep in the recliner. This infuriated me.

If I could work 16 hours in one day between two jobs with an added 3 hours of drive time for a total of being gone for 19 hours of a 24 hour day...and then come home, cook, clean, and let the dogs out... Why couldn't he?

I mentioned him helping out around the house, and I'd ask or drop hints...but I never actually bitched at him or nagged him to do things.

I expected him to act as a responsible adult and take care of at least part of the responsibilities.

I mean, he didn't even take the trash out on the days he knew the garbage truck was coming. As Christmas was approaching, my Grandmother (and last remaining grand-parent) had been ill, and she'd lived with my Mother for nearly two years and I had helped my Mother to care for her, because she'd taken care of my brothers and I when we were little. She was my Grandmother and she deserved to be taken care of when she could no longer do anything for herself.

I worked on Christmas day until 2pm. My boyfriend had gone to his Mother's and brother's houses and done the Christmas thing with him, and I was at home after work... Alone. My Grandmother was being released from the hospital that day following a couple day's stay for flu-like symptoms. In the evening, my brothers and I descended upon our parent's house for Christmas. He still wasn't back. I'd been texting him, and he'd say he was on his way, and then he was at our house, and he was going to unload his gifts, and he'd come up to my parents house (a mile away). We'd waited for him for a little while, and then started opening gifts, and I'd send him a text asking him if he was coming or not, and finally he said that he wasn't. I was disappointed. So, eventually I went home and he and I opened gifts and yet another crappy Christmas...but after the first two we'd spent together... I didn't expect much and I'd actually not spent very much on him for 2008 because of that fact. Why waste your money on something expensive for someone when you get a $10 t-shirt in return? (Not that those things matter - it's the point of it)

Well, three days after Christmas... my Grandmother died. (I told you that earlier blurb would be important)

I was at work when the phone rang and I was given the news. She was gone and my Mother was devastated. I immediately got someone to come relieve me and I went home. I sent him a text telling him my Grandmother had passed. The response I got was, "damn." When the dust had settled that day I