Real Life: What Made Me Cheat

Love, Heartbreak

at him.

Then... here comes the engagement on Feb. 13, 2008. Didn't see that coming did you? Neither did I. We had literally just gotten back together. It was the worst proposal I've ever heard of (but that's another blog). I never said yes. I just took the ring and we went from there. Bad choice. I never felt like I was engaged.

So, fast forward to March 2008, we're fixing up an ole place that my parents own to try to live with one another. So, we move in there somewhere around April, and things were going smooth for a little while and we were hoping to get to move into another place that my parents owned as soon as the tenants moved... However, when the light bill came and I asked for him to help pay it. He didn't. When we needed groceries or supplies and I asked him to help buy them... He didn't. The place we wanted to move into we'd have to pay rent because it is still mortgaged, and I became uneasy about the prospect of him not footing his half of the bill there. Then, in late April, I had to attend training out of town and it is a custom for all the girls to hit a local homemade pizza place/sports bar on the next-to-last day of training... I told him that I was going and that I was not going to drink because I was driving a department vehicle. I was going for pizza, pool, and friendly conversation, then I was coming home. He called me around 8pm, cussed me, screamed at me, and was totally irate that I was at this place. He screamed at me that I was engaged, I had not asked him to come with me, I was down there with a bunch of men (there were 3 guys in the whole place, and about 50 women), I was this and that and I need to leave and come home. I was furious, but told the girls that I'd see them in the morning and I went home. We didn't talk for 3 days following that incident.

So, we're into May 2008 and the tenants moved out of the other place, and we began making necessary repairs and moving in. There were no bills in May 2008 except for the light bill from the old place. We officially moved in the first week in June. I bought majority of the paint, supplies, household items, groceries and I paid the rent and light bill in June. He didn't give me a dime.

In July, he'd switched jobs and after a week of work and two days of telling me how much he hated his new job...he was "let go," so he said. (I later found out that wasn't the case, when I tried to apply for unemployment benefits for him and they were denied and I received a letter that basically stated that he was ineligible because he'd quit without notice...I never told him or showed him the letter.

In July, he didn't give me any money for bills, groceries, or supplies...and he wasn't actively searching for a job because "he could make money on his own."

In August, he gave me $200 (his half was around $400 for everything)...and he still wasn't actively searching for a job, and wouldn't even apply for the jobs I'd found for him and mentioned to him.

In September, he again, didn't give me a dime for anything. He decided he was going to get a commercial driver's license (CDL) and drive trucks because there was plenty of work in that field. I thought it was far-fetched, but whatever. I still kept showing him different job postings and he still wouldn't apply for any of them. After two weeks of checking out this whole CDL prospect and him sitting on his ass watching the tv I paid for, using the internet I paid for, eating the food I bought, and sitting in the air conditioning that I paid for...I'd had enough. Not to mention, he wasn't doing house or yard work or cooking. I worked 40 hours a week, and then came home, cooked, and cleaned. I literally would have to go outside and start cutting grass myself before he'd come out and do yard work. So, I left him a few notes telling him what the bills were, how much they were, and what I needed from him. He left me a note that read, "I guess if I can't find a job I'll have to leave." Well, no shit Sherlock. He also called me regarding the notes and told me that he was 28 years old and he was not a child and that he had been looking for work...but at the same time he never applied for any of the jobs I'd found for him. So, he threatened to leave, but didn't. Around this time, I had began emailing back and forth with a guy I'd met in college who worked in the emergency services field (like me). Our conversations were generally casual and were about either school or work until I started confiding in him. Because by this time my boyfriend had ran off all of my friends and I had no one to talk to. So, I started telling him about my relationship and what was going on. He'd offered to take me to dinner and take me out for my birthday (which was coming up) if I wasn't doing anything because he'd spent his 26th birthday 2-weeks earlier alone and didn't wish me the same.

Then, my boyfriend's father became ill.

So, for the remainder of September, he was going back and forth to to hospital seeing his father, and I layed off of him