What not to say when your friend lands in splitsville.
While watching your buddy cry her eyes out over some unworthy jerk isn't nearly as painful as getting the heave-ho yourself, it's still difficult. Most of us want to help our BFFs through breakups, but what do you say? Or, more importantly, what shouldn't you say?
1. Now is not the time to tell her how much you always hated him—but never bothered to tell her. Jennifer Kelton, CEO and founder of BadOnlineDates.com, had one pal who told her, "I have a friend who dated your ex years ago—and she had absolutely nothing nice to say about him." When asked why she didn't share this information earlier, her friend told her, "You seemed so happy." Your job is to pass the Kleenex and buy the beer—not make her feel like an idiot for having dated him in the first place.
2. Even worse are the friends who remind you of every snippy thing you ever said about your ex. Carly S. went through this with one of her friends: "If you're my friend, you'd better listen to me complain about boys and not throw it back in my face later!" Exactly. Sure, you may have complained about his snoring or eating beef jerky for breakfast, but there were plenty of other things you really liked about the big lug.
3. For the love of the sisterhood, even if it's true, don't tell her how awesome her ex looks or how happy he seems. Either forget you ever ran into him or lie. One of the most egregious examples of this happened to my friend Nita. "The day after my abortion—which I had because he left me for another woman, and I couldn't raise a child alone—my 'friend' Jackie told me how happy my ex-husband seemed with his new, much younger girlfriend." It goes without saying Nita and Jackie the Jackal are no longer friends.
For more things not to say, visit The Frisky.