St. Patrick's Day Is The Most Romantic Holiday

St. Patrick's Day Is The Most Romantic Holiday

From "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" to pinch me I'm not wearing green, March 17th has it all.

It's that time of year, again. Spring is just around the bend, winter is ready to shut its eyes for a while and Irish eyes are smiling. March 17th is St. Patrick's Day and it is the most romantic holiday on the calendar. Shocking, no?

People naturally assume that Valentine's Day is the most romantic holiday but it's just too contrived and elementary school-ish for my tastes. Yes, I do the right things on Valentimes and generally have a good time but the flowers, cards, gifts, dinners and heart-shaped whathaveyous ring hollow. "The Holidays," late November through late December, have become too commercial to be genuinely romantic. And the prospect of New Year's Eve romance has a certain Cinderella/ New Year's resolution quality to it (i.e. totally flitting).

Aside from the plastic Leprechaun hats, shamrocks, green beer and corned beef as far as the eye can see; St. Patrick's Day is not what I would call a "soulless commercial event." It's about revelry and retailers dislike nothing more than unbridled revelry (not to mention the debauchery).

In addition to not being in the grips of mercantile interests (excluding the Guinness Corporation and whomever bottles Jameson's), St. Patty's is about a real event: chasing the snakes from Ireland. What's more romantic than ridding an entire island of animal responsible for mankind's expulsion from the Garden of Eden?

Not buying it? Fine. What about the color green? Some people associate green with envy but those people forget that green as the color of fertility and general sexiness. And let us not forget the aphrodisiacal powers of the Green M&M (the only M&M with high heels and eyelashes, sexy). And people are actually encouraged to pinch people who are not wearing green. Is there a better way to kick-start romance than pinching or proving to someone that you're wearing green via showing them your underpants?

Need more? Happy to oblige but first, "kiss me, I'm Irish." There are more people of Irish descent in the United States than all of the Emerald Isles. Chances are, you could make this request and eventually someone would comply because, hey!, it's your day, Paddy.

If you're still not convinced, then let me help you. Alcohol. Homer Simpson says it's the cause and solution to all of life's problems. I go not that far. I will say that I am positive that alcohol has been responsible for the formation of more relationships than any other substance. Is that a good thing? Meh, not for us to say. St. Patrick's Day is like Mardi Gras but without the looming moral hangover of Ash Wednesday (note: I realize that SPD falls during lent, there's some sort of dispensation for this, I'd imagine).

I know I may be a little biased being Irish-ish, but the logic is airtight despite my fair complexion and ginger wig. And, yes, I did start a relationship on St. Patrick's Day but it was Hoboken St. Patrick's Day and that only marginally counts. Go out there and have a great time, enjoy the green beer in some fashion of moderation, wear a little green (or don't, wink-wink) and kiss someone who's Irish (you'll have over 10% of America's population to choose from). Erin Go Bragh, brah.