Male Anger & He’s Just Not That Into You

he's just not that into you

Interruptions, dating books and rom-coms bug Christian Bale (and most guys).

There are a few things that really bug guys. One of those things is messing with something sacred. Every guy has something different that’s sacred. It may be his French fries*, his money/ emotions** or even his Zohan***. Learn early what button not to push and then, um, don't push it (unless you're looking to reap some sort of whirlwind, hurricane or twister).

Guys (dudes and men too) generally place whatever they're doing right-at-that-very-moment in their list of things sacrosanct. It may look like he's half-heartedly reading a magazine article on advanced robotic theory, checking his email, listening to The Clash and watching a Division 2 college football game between schools in states that he’s never been to, but he is totally into all of those things. But this Renaissance (Festival) Man cannot possibly be expected to juggle one more bowling pin, milady. So if he's in the middle of an emotional scene about saving humanity (a scene nearly 30 years in the making), it's a really bad move to interrupt him or obscure his vision. He may say some things that he regrets when blood pressure returns to homeostasis.

Another thing that dudes aren't into at all are movies that portray men as hapless, duplicitous, cowardly or a Kevin Connolly character when it comes to romance. Most men are rarely more than one of those things (though Kevin Connolly has an excuse for double-dipping). The rom-com (the feminine counterpoint to the action flick) is often repellant to the fellas because its male characters are irresolute, clownish, jejune or some combination of the three. His only salvation lies in kismet and the hands of a good woman who really "gets it."**** The best rom-coms (Love Actually comes to mind) feature men and women (gay and straight) who are equally conflicted, clueless, capricious, clingy (re: stalk-y) and courageous when it comes to matters of the heart.

And finally, dating books that speak in absolutes and use tautology to really drive home the point bug guys when either they are either referenced or read aloud*****.

These three irritants come to a righteous head in this video on Buzz Feed. Please take a moment and watch (it is not S for work, at all). Yeah, that's Christian Bale's tirade from the set the latest Terminator sequel dropped into the trailer for trailer for He's Just Not That Into You.

These totally out-of-line reactions can be avoided by not interrupting delicate work, not insisting the rom-coms are realistic, not quoting relationships books as if it’s Gospel and, generally, not acting like a character Jennifer Aniston might play (seriously, most of us hate her characters in everything but Office Space). While most of the above is satire, it'll probably save a few headaches if you don't talk during his backswing and quote sparingly from pop-psych books.

* Men At Work: "There are several sacred things in this world that you don't ever mess with. One of them happens to be another man's fries."

**Friday: "Messing with my money is like messing with my emotions, Smokey."

*** You Don't Mess With The Zohan: A) Zohan means macho, don't mess with a dude's machismo (in front of other dudes). B) Don't mess with this film or watch it.

**** Fair enough, the slanted rom-com is sort of the female version of the moronic action flick. Please call bullsh*t on us if we quote Castor Troy to settle a point.

***** I think Liz Tuccillo, writer of He's Just Not That Into You, is a pretty dang smart and plenty of fun to be around.