Fox News Hates Family Planning, Environment

couple woman man treehuggers trees

They also think British official is nutty.

In what is sure to prompt in the masses a universal and heartfelt response of "duh," Fox News has announced that they think both family planning and global warming are nutty.        

Even less shocking, the conservative news giant has expressed offense and dismay at the idea that the two issues might be connected.

In an article entitled, "Limiting Couples to Just Two Kids Is Not the Way to Save the Earth," Fox News religion contributor Father Jonathan Morris berates the chairman of Britain's Sustainable Development Commission, Sir Jonathan Porritt, for…well…suggesting that limiting family size to two kids can play a role in saving the earth.

Specifically, Fox News takes issue with the chairman's assertion at a press conference this past week, that: "I am unapologetic about asking people to connect up their own responsibility for their total environmental footprint and how they decide to procreate…I think we will work our way towards a position that says that having more than two children is irresponsible."

In short, Fox News does not like Porritt's suggestion that: 1) Global warming exists. 2) Humans have anything to do with global warming. 3) Curbing the growth of the human population can play a role in reducing global warming.

They say this in a slightly different way, however. Precisely, they call the chairman and his contemporaries "prophets of environmental doom." They suggest that Porritt has fallen "into the clutches of unscientific ideology." And they claim that the entire commission has "ventured into new frontiers of Green movement nuttiness."

Frankly, we don't think the word "nuttiness" is used often enough in policy analysis.

But regardless of Father Morris's obvious gift for conservative gab, isn't it a little late in the game to be questioning the existence of global warming? Haven't bona fide journalists (yes, we're talking about ourselves here) already discussed how everything from our boudoirs to our breakups potentially leave a mark on the environment? And what's so scary about the possibility that our family planning decisions might actually lead to positive repercussions in the greater world?

Honestly, we find the whole idea of our choices holding that much power to be sort of inspiring.

But then again, we might just be nutty.

In other non-news, Fox News has announced that they don't like Hillary Clinton's shoes.