Paying For It

Paying For It

A study shows that guys who spend more money have more sex.

Who doesn't pay for sex 1 way or the other? I know a dude who claims that every guy has gotten with a pro at least once, I find this hard to believe (also, strip clubs don't count). But guys do pay for it, to a largish degree. We purchase attention and time. Whether it's a drink, a dinner or a diamond, we're purchasing the chance for you to get to know the real us (and sometimes distracting you from the real us with booze, lobsters and shine just long enough to slime our way into your pants).

According to a study by LiveScience, the more a man has spent on wining and dining the more 69ing he'll have done. Better said, the men who have spent the most money on women has had the most partners and generally desires the most future hookups. Donald Trump once said that successful men have stronger libidos insinuating that the paper chase is inexorably linked to chasing tail. And these men are, therefore, unbelievably important in terms of our genetic heritage because they are able to begat oodles of kids, take care of them and put them in a position to do likewise.

One of the pioneers of the study, Daniel Kruger, goes on to say that women's spending habits are not linked to their number of partners. He also puts some of the onus of the current financial situation on conspicuous consumption that the need to floss* inspires.

Maybe it's good that men make more money still otherwise no one might be doing it. Likewise, it's probably good that women's spending habits aren't tied to their randy-ness, otherwise we might all be broke. All that hot, baby-making action won't have left enough money for bath water or a baby to throw it out with.

This is why everyone is so offended by deadbeat boyfriends and gigolos and confused by cougar sugar mamas. They don't operate like the rest of us and that's a little unsettling. Take this handsome bastard in the video below. His inability to pay for dinner tonight will likely dim some of his romantic prospects in the future.

*I know you know what 'floss' means but on the outside my mom or your mom ever read this, I want them to know it means to show off.