Madonna's 12 Commandments for Guy

Madonna's 12 Commandments for Guy

Controlling singer gives rules for her about-to-be ex during child visitation.

You thought YOU had control issues?  Celebitchy got their hands on the rules reported via text photo (see? camera phones are dangerous, people!) that Madonna laid down for Guy when he has visitation with their sons, Rocco and David:

1. Under no circumstances should they be allowed to read newspapers, magazines, or watch TV or DVDs

2. They must adhere at all times to a macrobiotic, vegetarian, organic diet with no processed or refined food

3. All water they drink, even when it is to dilute organic juice, should be Kabbalah water

4. They should wear only the clothes Madonna has sent with them, if they need to be bought anything new, it should not contain any man-made materials

5. The boys’ hands should be regularly cleaned with disinfectant spray if they are in public places

6. They should not be bought toys that are spiritually or ethically unsound

7. The divorce should not be discussed with them

8. Madonna should have contact by phone with them when and how often she chooses, as often as three or four times a day at times she sets

9. Guy should not introduce the boys to any of his new friends, especially any new female friends

10. Madonna wants the boys to spend their time she’s given with Guy, and not large amounts of time with his parents, their grandparents

11. The boys should not be photographed when they are with Guy and it’s his responsibility to arrange security so it doesn’t happen

12. At bedtime, Guy should read Madonna’s English Rose books to David

Wow!  Dietary and shopping restrictions aside, you’ve got think about what a controlling issue it is that the boys are not supposed to be introduced to any of Guy’s friends or spend time with their grandparents, much less the ban on the foods, television and snacks!  The real biter besides having to be read the English Rose books to David is not being able to explain the divorce to them.  Any child of divorce knows that children have a million questions about what is happening and that it’s important for kids to know they didn’t cause the issue, which both parents should be able to help guide the children through the separation so it doesn’t have any long-lasting affects.  Granted, if either parent wants to use the situation to poison the waters against the other, they shouldn’t be allowed to do such a thing but ignoring questions and concerns diminishes the role of the parent not talking about it.  Also, what’s up with Madonna pre-setting phone calls as much as four times a day?

Divorce is difficult and as someone who’s gone through it, no one has a harder time with it than the kids.  Plus, the more restrictions you place on someone in a period of negotiation, the more they’ll want to break the rules.  I foresee hours of DVDs, head-deadening cartoons, Cheetos and soda until their little teeth are in danger.  The fastest way to get people to defy you is to give them ultimatums, especially when the thin line between love and hate has already been crossed.