Online Dating For Vineyards?

Online Dating For Vineyards?

We're Not Drinking The Merlot!

A few weeks back we noted that a number of zoos were giving up their stud books (mostly shots of oiled up male orangutans inviting females to "the gun show") in favor of doing it all online. This makes sense for about one thousand reasons and should be a big hit. We're not sure if MyMate or ZooFace are better names for this thing.

Now it looks like winemakers are getting in on the online matchmaking. SignsOnSanDiego reports that Washington grape growers are getting hooked up with vintners (the people that press the grapes, add the other ingredients, ferment the wine, and drink the gravy) online.  While large commercial winemakers have a process in place, this online process helps growers meet smaller bottlers and amateur enologists. One would think that some of the problems with online dating would apply here. How do you know what they really look like? What if they have bad roots? Is she a Syrah? Is he a Merlot? Am I going to end up walled into a wine cellar with a pretend cask of Amontillado? You know, the usual.

The success of either is predicated on guarded optimism and the hope that the web will (ugh) filter out the bad seeds. Just watch out for people with awful names like DateGrapist and the like. And you should probably believe half of what you see and some or none of what you hear when dealing with this grapevine. We are now going to pour boiling grape juice on ourselves.

We prefer the old days when wine was a game for the rich. The wealthy owned the entire vertical process of winemaking from the vinyard to the distribution. Now hillbillies like us know what a sommelier is and that goofball on Wine Library has made connoisseurs out of anyone who cares to watch his show for a half an hour. Amazing.

Enjoy these cork soakers: