Man Banned From Flat For Noisy Sex

noisy sex

A couple of loud f*ckers have been read the riot act in Brighton and Hove.

Sweet work, loud f*ckers. Per the Associated Press, a man from a southern England town, Brighton and Hove, has been banned from his girlf's apartment for noisy screwing. Basically, the dude, Adam Hinton, has to stay 110 yards (about 101 meters) from his lady's place (her apartment not her hot spot). The woman, Kerry Norris, has neighbors that don't care for the music, banging headboards, and obscene, dirty talk that accompany his nocturnal (or daytime, we suppose), undercover maneuvers.

We've always thought of banging headboards and filthy, dirty talk as pretty par for the course for people with active and aggressive sex lives. Honestly, who hasn't had neighbors, either in college or real life, that we're nasty, inconsiderate, loud f*ckers? And while incredibly annoying ("Shahtiza, where is my mom going to sleep so she doesn't have to hear that banshee next door moan while her townie boyfriend is giving her the business?"), it sometimes serves a purpose. Some of the crazy talk that comes out of people's mouths while they're boning is hilarious, furthermore noisy-whilst-naked neighbors can be a good excuse to get out of the house, and finally, a small percentage of the population is totally turned on by the sounds of other people high-fiving their genital, could be a deal-sealer.

But what happens when you have neighbors with a 6-year old. It's really a parent's responsibility to be the first 1 to accidentally horrify their kids about sex and nasty language. In addition to the loud sex issue, this Kerry Norris has been known to sunbathe naked (we assume topless) from time-to-time. Hey, lady, this isn't Melrose Place and you ain't Heather Locklear (that's tellin' 'er, lad). Good fences make good neighbors, a little common courtesy can go a long way. What are a couple of erotically charged loud f*ckers to do when they have 'square' neighbors? Anyone out there had experience on either side of this one? Any advice?