Isaac Hayes Dies

Isaac Hayes Dies

The soul singer and South Park star will be missed.

It was not a good week to be an older, wise black celebrity. Morgan Freeman was damn lucky only to be getting divorced and not to precede Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes into oblivion (or the next life). While everyone will miss Isaac Hayes, you may be wondering why this sad event made it into The Daily Dish On Love? Isaac Hayes, to our knowledge, was about the last member of a classification of music that we refer to as 'let's get it on' soul.

Hayes' music largely had a sexual tone, either overtly or in the form of undertone. Even when the lyrics weren't as overt as "Feel Like Making Love, " his funky beats screamed 70's porn groove and don't get us started on the music from Shaft (He's one bad mother-). With other staples of the genre, James Brown, Barry White, Curtis Mayfield, Ray Charles, and Marvin Gaye having long since passed, is there anyone left to pick up the baby-making music torch? Percy Sledge is probably too old. We're not sure Jodeci is making albums anymore. And don't get us started on why R Kelly is wrong, wrong, wrong for this mantle. There's something weird about having to settle for hard liquor and Sade when trying to close the deal. A little Hot Buttered Soul and some table wine is a much more earnest and hilarious way to let your date know that you're ready to 'get it on.'

This generation probably better knows Hayes for his voice work as Chef on South Park. Chef was the conscience and largely the only responsible adult in the town of South Park. Anytime that one of the South Park kids needed sexual advice, they approached Chef, so there is a generation of kids out there that got birds and bees advice from Isaac Hayes (despite his leaving the show in 2006). A few favorite lessons (paraphrased):

  • The proper age to lose ones virginity is always 17, no ifs, ands, or buts.
  • That homosexuality is genetic (as with Stan's gay dog) and not something that can be tricked out of a person (or in this case an animal).
  • The importance of the clitoris in getting a woman to like you (as a man).
  • You can get AIDS or the Herp if you don't use a condom, but typically only during intercourse.
  • The Succubus exists and can seduce even the most vigilant of men, be cautious.
  • There is a time and place for everything and it's called college.
  • You can get any 2 things to mate, if they're drunk enough.

We'll really miss old Isaac Hayes. We're not really 100% sure what Scientologists believe happen after you die, it's either reincarnation, joining a self-aware bundle of energy, or something about a different planet, so we may see his likes again. The BBC reports that Hayes' death was possibly a medical condition related to his 2006 stroke.