Condom Co Wants Miley Cyrus To Rep Wares

Condom Co Wants Miley Cyrus To Rep Wares
Buzz, Sex

LifeStyles think the Hannah Montana star would be perfect pitch gal.

This Miley Cyrus business has spiraled completely out of control. We were willing to overlook (and not even look at) the Vanity Fair pictorial. We're totally willing to look the other way as she transforms into Hannah Montana (like her dad that other country singer, Garth Brooks, transforms into Chris Gaines). And we'll even pretend not to be really bothered by her feud with Selena Gomez. One thing we will no let pass is LifeStyles Condoms using Cyrus as a pitchwoman. We feel like Gandalf planting his feet on the bridge as the fire demon approaches, "You shall not pass!"

It looks like, according to Comcast News, Cyrus's team has not received an official offer and claims they'd turn down 1 if it did come across their collective desk. Finally, some responsibility from the Cyrus gang. Is it really a good audience for condom providers? We've been led to believe that teens (see Juno Lynn Spears and the Massachusetts 17) and country music fans (see the Colorado Country Jam / underpants remover) sometimes forego prophylactic use. Maybe that's the point.

While we're talking about condoms, how lame are they, anyways? The Frisky reports that going raw dog (sans prophos) is the new engagement ring. Evidently, the level of trust and whathaveyou has to be pretty dern high for modern day fornicators to ride bareback. We'll be damned, people are really careful about not getting funk on their junk these days. That stuff is everywhere. We used to be pretty cavalier about the whole pregnancy thing, it's like just pull out, duder. And aren't most ladies on the pill? Furthermore, can't you really only get pregnant on a few days per cycle? It turns out that not everyone thinks DNA is an effective moisturizer, some ladies are (crazily) off the pill or forget to take it, and swimmers can live up to like 5 days after being broken off (in addition, some people believe that a thing called pre-come exists, rubbish). Yeah, stuff we should have been taught in sex ed or during freshman orientation.

So, maybe going at it War God is not the new engagement ring but it is the new promise ring, as in "I promise that this is the stuff I have (ideally none) and this is birth control medication that I promise I took today, the day before, and will continue to use for the foreseeable future and promise to inform you if I make any change in this daily routine." Promise. And practice safe sex where applicable.