How Not To Leave a Voicemail

How Not To Leave a Voicemail

We hope this awful attempt at a pickup is a joke.

By now you might've heard what's been called "the douchiest phone message in history" from But if not, please drag all impressionable youngsters into the room with you and have a listen to learn how never to leave a voicemail for a hot chick who gave you her number at the bar.

Dmitri is calling Olga in a painfully misguided attempt to woo her. Some choice bits:

"I am single, I have no trouble meeting women, women approach me, six, seven times a day...your friends were very jealous and even if they say they weren't, they were envious of the fact that I approached you."

"You looked very taken aback by my approach and I hope that wasn't timidness. I hope it was just a little bit of shock at being approached so directly, because I don't really date timid women...I want a woman who's very independent and strong. So we'll talk about that."

"You're playing games like on stupid TV is now 4:30 on Wednesday...but if I do not receive a call from you at 3:00 on Thursday night, you can erase my number. I don't play games like that."

These aren't even the best parts...have a listen and cringe. We hope this is a's so over-the-top, it hasn't to be, right?


Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?
If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
It seems like you can't do anything right.