Vin Diesel Is A Daddy

Vin Diesel Is A Daddy
Love, Family

Fine, Vin Diesel's wife, Paloma Jimenez, had a baby.

We're not sure what's more surprising; A) that Vin Diesel is a real person; B) that he had a kid on the DL; or that C) he's 40. All of them are sort of equal. So, Diesel and girlfriend Paloma Jimenez had a baby girl waaaay back on April 2. People also reports that Vin is currently filming a movie called Fast And Furious, which is shocking considering they've pretty much run out of story possibilities. Maybe his character will join Nascar and win over the old boys by exposing a corrupt team owner that's been using drivers as coke mules. Wait, they go in circles. Forget it.

Since there are no other details of his private life, let's talk about Vin in general. Has anyone ever come around at the right time like this guy? OK. Late 90s, America had fallen in love with Derek Jeter and so the ambiguous ethnicity thing was pretty chic and it kind of made all of us realize that eventually mankind is going to be some shade of brown if the Earth doesn't fall into the sun first. He's unapologetically bald. His only coiffed character was the mobster in Find Me Guilty and even that wig was part of a joke. Bald became beautiful in the late 90s as people rejected combovers, pills, potions, and implants of dubious origin. It was finally cool for a dude that wasn't black to shave his head and not be mistaken for a racist, cancer survivor, or swimmer. He's big. Professional wrasslin' was kicking on all cylinders, America fell in love with The Rock (he cashed in on these fads too). His nom de guerre is 'Diesel.' That could have been his wrestling name and the clothing brand of the same name went mainstream back then. We read somewhere that he's into Dungeons And Dragons, which seems like it could be helpful with the revival of fantasy films. Maybe Hollywood nerds get together and discuss roles over a nice quest. We're glad all this came together for him, he seems like a nice guy and his movies are not un-entertaining. We'd rather watch him in an action role than Colin Firth or that guy that played Stifler.