Uncomfortable Celeb News: Mariah & M-Rod

Uncomfortable Celeb News: Mariah & M-Rod

Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon? Michelle Rodriguez & whomever she wants.

According to every interested party, there is something going on between Nick Cannon and Mariah Careh, or so we’re being lead to believe. And Mariah Carey is only throwing fuel on the fire after the 2 were spotted all up in Privé (a club at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas). And Fametastic says that Nick Cannon took over the DJing duties. We’re not sure what we’re happier about; figuring out what 1 thing than Tommy Mottola, Eminem, and Nick Cannon have had in common or figuring out what Nick Cannon actually does well (clearly, no night club would let just anyone spin records unless they had some talent, it’s a skill).

That’s well and good, but is everyone on crazy pills? Sure, Dave Chappelle’s son thinks Nick Cannon is ‘hilarious’ but Mariah has had more number 1 hits than Elvis and she can fit back in her 10th grade jeans. Is she trying to get her groove back? Some nefarious rumormongers think that Nick Cannon could be her beard (or uncomfortable shoes or whatever the equivalent is for lesbians). We’re withholding judgment, we just think Old Mimi’s out of her head.

In other celebrity news that just doesn’t add up, Latina is reporting that Michelle Rodriguez is fed up about questions about her sexuality. We didn’t realize that there was any question. She goes on to drop some wisdom about whose business it would be if she were to engage in pedophilia (is that the one with animals?). And then describes what there sexuality questioners can do (it involves vomit, masturbation, and morphing into a barnyard animal). Good stuff. We’re going to be perfectly candid, we think Michelle Rodriguez is really attractive and dangerous and sexy. Keep doing what you’re doing, old girl (though we advise against more jail time).

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