S&M Professor Wakes From Coma

S&M Professor Wakes From Coma

That sounds like a headline from the National Inquirer, right? Nah brah, it was the front page of the New York Post. A recently retired professor from Montreal is recovering from an oxygen deprivation-induced coma. The implementation of that oxygen deprivation? It was probably the dog collar or the suspension above the ground. But may have also been the nipple clamps or the hood he was wearing. Intrigued?

Long story short, a retired professor from Montreal, Canada was really into S&M. He would make trips to New York to visit dominatrices (what's the plural of dominatrix?) and get sexually tortured. He told his wife and his (now grown) children that he was on some outdoorsy adventure in Upstate New York and was just visiting the City for photos and pizza. His particular kink, this time, was getting trussed up, throwing on a pair of high heels, some handcuffs, nipple clamps, a leather mask, suspended a few inches from the ground, and getting left alone. Another dominatrix noticed that his foot was turning blue and called 911. We're guessing he's going to be a lot more sorry when he gets the bill from the hospital, we don't have socialized medicine here, bud.

The dude is incredibly apologetic to his family, friends, etc and plans on never getting into these shenanigans again and gave some analogy involving turkey. This sounds a lot like how we feel when we’re massively hung over, “I know this for a fact, I am never drinking again.” And then a few nights later your headache is gone, some of your buddies are throwing darts at the local pub and you think, “hey, I’ll just have a couple and be sure to be home by 11.” We think the parallel here would be going home, quitting the torture, and maybe choking himself once or twice while he whacks off. Then this thing starts all the way over. Not good.

All this zaniness got you interested in S&M? Check out our article on how to get started. Before reading the article, it’s a good idea to pick a safe word. We’ve always thought that ‘Armageddon,’ ‘pterodactyl,’ and ‘ow, what a lovely tea party’ were good choices.

Read more about the S&M prof at the NY Post...