Beware Of Dating People-Pleasers

Beware Of Dating People-Pleasers

"Social Chameleons" have a hard time making real, solid relationships.

There is a trait that people in the psychological community call self-monitoring. Essentially, it means modifying behavior to satisfy the localized social situation (i.e. social camouflage). People with high levels of self-monitoring are generally popular, well-liked, and more likely to be promoted. That being said, a recent study shows that they are less committed to relationships than low self-monitors.

A study in Communication Reports shows that even in intimate situations that high self-monitors are still not 100% able to present their ‘true’ selves. And, according to the study, while they may be likeable, they are not that deep. The instinct to self-censor makes full disclosure difficult. The good news is that very few people are all the way in one direction or the other. It’s weird though, that insincere people would have relationship problems. Or that people with no internal monitor are good at making those around them know exactly how they feel. This makes us wonder if man-eaters (“whoa-oa here she comes…”) and womanizers are a little bipolar in their self-monitoring. They’re charismatic (or really, really ridiculously good looking) and obfuscate feelings but are typically brutally honest when they’re through with you. At least that’s what any movie on Cinemax after 9 PM has led us to believe. While the study was negative about social-chameleons it gave us no indication if social-Chamillionares are open with their feelings.

Read more about insincere daters at Science Daily...