Comments, Terms, And The Refs

Comments, Terms, And The Refs

This cheat sheet will have everyone convinced that you're Super Bowl savvy.

A) Comments:

There are a certain questions that are not to be asked during the game (keep in mind talking in general is somewhat verboten or at least frowned upon).

You know that mixing sports metaphors is a no-no and comments about Tom Brady and Gisele should be kept to a minimum.

A few good things to say:

When: After a big hit.
You Say: “He got jacked!” Or you can say, “He won’t need a new clock any time soon, he just got his cleaned.”

When: Dropped pass.
You Say:
“Oops. He hit him right in the hands.”

When: Hit after the whistle blows.
You Say:
Weird. Any time that a late hit happens, Rodney Harrison is involved. Weird.

When: Player loafing.
You Say:
He must just be saving it for the Pro Bowl.

When: Announcer Troy Aikman repeats himself.
You Say: It’s okay, he did that before all of the concussions.

When: Announcer Joe Buck says something ridiculous.
You Say:
Which team did he play for when he was in the league?

B) Terminology:

Want to impress the people you are watching the game with? Pepper your conversation with the following terms:

  • Muff: verb to drop a punted ball.
    Ex: I’m sure glad that they weren’t able to return that muffed punt.
  • Buttonhook: noun a play in which the wide receiver runs downfield and then suddenly stops and turns around.
    Ex: Usually Plaxico Burress goes deep, he really surprised them with that buttonhook.
  • Bump and Run: adjective type of coverage in which a defensive back shoves a wide-receiver as the play starts and then tries to prevent him from catching a pass.
    Ex: Wes Welker isn’t very big, maybe the Giants can contain him with a little Bump And Run coverage.
  • Bootleg: noun a play in which the quarterback pretends to hand the ball off and runs in the opposite direction; a variant is the naked bootleg in which all of the blockers pretend too.
    Ex: Brady really tricked the Giants defense with that bootleg (double points for that one because Brady had a boot cast on his leg before the game).
  • Nickel Back: noun fifth defensive back, four is the typical allotment (Dime, interestingly, denotes the sixth).
    Ex: Stopping Randy Moss is tough, the Giants should mix the coverage maybe go with the Nickel.
  • Split End: noun synonym for wide receiver (not just a pesky bit of hair).
    Steve Smith is lined up as the split-end on this play.
  • Pooch Kick: noun short kick-off designed to be difficult to return.
    After returning the last kick for a touchdown, the Patriots would rather not take any chances this time, so they’ll opt for a pooch kick.
  • Special Teams: noun group of players involved in punting, field goals and kick-offs (basically any time that someone is attempting to kick a ball, special teams are involved).
    Those guys on Special Teams are nuts (affirmative).
  • Shank: verb to push a kick grossly to one side or the other from the intended target can also be used in golf.
    Boy did Jeff Feagles ever shank that punt.
  • Spear: verb to strike with the crown of the head, highly illegal and can lead to serious neck injury.
    Ex: Rodney Harrison just speared a defenseless receiver.

See here for more terminology.

C) The Officials

What are those little guys out there doing? With their wild gesticulating and different colored hats, those guys are keeping the play fair. But what does each signal mean? This may not make the game any more entertaining but it’s good to know:

Watch a couple of little kids going through the signals; or check out the grown ups.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.