Holiday Sampler


* Right around this time of year is when the annual New Year’s Eve game of chicken starts. You know what I mean? That time when everyone is sort of feeling each other out to see what the best option for the evening is before buying tickets to anything, if tickets are a necessary part of the evening. Because no one wants to be stuck by themselves that night—that’s just sad, unless you specifically planned some sort of romance thing or whatever, and even then, I kind of don’t believe in it—but also you don’t want to commit to something and have an even better thing come along.

Plus it’s weird to be that guy who’s all stressed out about New Year’s because it makes you seem uptight and strange, but wait too long or be too nonchalant and you can end up shut out. It’s complicated, man. My ideal New Year’s is a big, fun, drunken house party with loud dumb music. Not to say there aren’t funner options in the world, that’s just my personal preference. I was just about to blink and buy tickets to a concert that, while undoubtedly a good time, wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, and bam! an invitation to the perfect party materialized. New Year’s: not for the faint of heart.

* This year I did all my holiday shopping online. Which, I know, it’s not 1996 so that’s not really remarkable. But it must be at least somewhat unusual because I was out running errands in Manhattan today and it was completely mobbed. As it has been around my office in SoHo for the last three weeks. I mean, it’s always a little mobbed around there, but lately it’s been just out of control. Tourists are one thing, and I’m sure plenty of the people clogging everything up are tourists, but I can tell that not all of them are.
I don’t know who these brave souls are that can handle shopping around this time of year. Did they just leave things to the last minute? It’s worth paying for overnight shipping to avoid the kind of horrible crush I had to fight through today. Maybe they just couldn’t find what they wanted online? I don’t know. But I just needed to get a soft-sided pet carrier and not only was everything like that everywhere completely sold out, even the freaking PET STORE was completely packed. That’s just weird. People: do yourselves and those of us that have to live near you a favor and buy your stuff online like normal people. Please.

* Speaking of soft-sided pet carriers, guess what possibly disastrous and definitely somewhat dumb thing I’m doing this year? Yes! Taking one of my cats on the plane with me. I know, what with the ease of holiday travel already, adding a cat into the mix is a fabulous idea, particularly since I just realized that I have a 45-minute connection. So, that’ll be awesome.

What is wrong with me? Well, none of the people who usually look in on our cats are going to be around and both of us are going to be at our respective parents’ houses for six days so I worry that the two cats left together would eat each other. They fight A LOT. So I’m leaving the one who enjoys her privacy with the auto-feeder and taking the more adventurous one to Texas to hang out with my brothers’ two dogs and four puppies and my parents’ one dog. It will be a very merry xmas, no doubt. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but whatever line there was that had cat lady written on it, I left that in my rearview mirror quite some time ago.

* Am I the only one who enjoys her office xmas party? I always hear people complaining about how bad they are, but I get really excited for mine and then get kind of depressed afterward. It’s not like we do anything special—just drinks and gift exchange and a nice-ish dinner. Maybe it’s just the weather that makes me depressed. I don’t know. I like parties I guess. Does that make me a loser?

And with those thoughts, I leave you all to the last of your shopping and travels and whatnot. Good luck.